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By stevetroster
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11 May 2008 |
War Sore
Long before the old clock struck thirty-nine
I gazed through taped windows at boiling clouds
That swam in a sea of tempestuous skies
Like some filigree spider’s web spun in black
To imprison a forlorn and anxious fly.
Taking my last sip of fine red wine
I’d sobering thoughts as I looked to the streets
Where the pale children danced in phantom rain
And the white mists ghosted about their feet
As Sturzkampfflugzeug banshees screamed, again.
As the thirty-nine horror slid slowly away
The hands of the old clock approached forty-four
Yet I lurked in the cellar for Ursa drew near
A liberating predator dressed up in red
Another boot ready to kick down my door.
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Written by Fledermaus (3159 comments posted) 10th May 2008 | Back to your special surrealism? Yet this time with a clear message it seems. In these days WW2 seems to be very much remembered. In many countries it did end in may 1945 and soon D-day remembrances are approaching too. Yet with your red dressed liberator I do suppose this is about may 8, 1945 rather than june 6 1944? Just one little typo I think: "sturzkamfflugzeug", shouldn't that be "Sturzkampfflugzeug" A most interesting poem.
| Written by stevetroster (1398 comments posted) 10th May 2008 | Dear Maus, thanks for the read. You are entirely correct about the typo, ‘tis a long word and I think I went blind half way through it! All the best, Steve.
| Written by Phil (6383 comments posted) 11th May 2008 | Blank(ish) verse now, eh? Thought some of the lines in this worked really well, particularly in the last. While I follow all the parts of the piece (I reckon) I've struggled to place the piece as a whole in terms of specific POV or personal context. Could be my lack of historical knowledge. BTW, the second line paints such a vivid picture - but the word 'taped' seems like an anachronism. Tape has connotations of that black plastic stuff or sellotape - I'm picturing brown, lick it yourself paper, parcel tape. Very small thing and the word may have been used then - just seems to have modern links. So - lots to like - but, at least for me, the parts don't quite fit together to make a whole. That though - could be entirely my own fault. Phil | Written by stevetroster (1398 comments posted) 11th May 2008 | The POV is that of a citizen of Warszawa who first witnesses the approach and subsequent blitzkrieg by Germany and in the later part is awaiting the arrival of the Russian army. The Blitz was a period of intensive air attacks during which all the windows were covered with a strong sticky tape, to prevent glass shattering should there be an explosion.
| Written by Phil (6383 comments posted) 11th May 2008 | | War sore = Warsaw - doh! |
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