To An Oystercatcher at St. John’s Hospital
Each morning as my ears receive
so bittersweet, your piping call,
I tilt my head to see you stand,
there dapper on the felted cliff,
surveying your adopted land.
The roof a lofty shingle beach,
whereon to scrape a make do nest.
The landscaped grounds an estuary,
there from to rip elastic worms,
then toot your triumph noisily.
I see that you are just like me,
a misfit, lost and out of place,
surviving here against the odds.
I wonder do you miss the sea,
or taste of coastal arthropods?
Oli 11/05/08
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Amended punctuation. Written by Talisker (1309 comments posted) 11th May 2008 |
Thanks to SteveT. Oli
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dapper birds Written by fellpony (1519 comments posted) 11th May 2008 |
I love to hear them flying over in the summer night. How on earth they manage to fly and whistle at the same time beats me. Are you out of place at the hospital, or is that a more generalised remark? |
Written by Fledermaus (3160 comments posted) 11th May 2008 |
| Nice how you manage to create such clear descriptions with so little words. It has a certain... atmosphere. |
Written by Livinginanattic (454 comments posted) 11th May 2008 |
| Enjoyed your descriptions. The 5 line stanzas seem to suit this piece very well. |
Written by Josie (2536 comments posted) 11th May 2008 |
| As above Oli. I really enjoyed this poem and hope that you do not really too out of place. I like your "felted cliff" and "elastic worms". I'd never thought of them like that before, but now I think of the blackbirds struggle - yes they really are. |
Written by Phil (6435 comments posted) 11th May 2008 |
against the odds/arthropods - class rhyme! The final verse almost comes out of nowhere - but it makes the piece. The poem works well enough to be left with the content - the technical stuff (like I'd know) is there in the background doing what it should do and minding its own business. surviving here against the odds but surviving. Not a psychology lesson - I know less about that than I do poetry - but there are times (months - not moments) when I'm all at sea. It's probably something most people feel. This captures that feeling really well - and the last two lines lighten it a little. Liked very much. Phil |
Worry not! Written by Talisker (1309 comments posted) 11th May 2008 |
My dearest friends! Though I did feel a little like the oystercatcher, I'm now in "the community" as a health visitor in a wee town called Whitburn (where I grew up). Loving it so far (one week). Babies to weigh! Oli |
Written by Brett (527 comments posted) 11th May 2008 |
Wonderful description, and a nice rhyme scheme. Seemingly effortless. Cheers |
Written by stevetroster (1431 comments posted) 11th May 2008 |
Forgot to say I like it. I like it. Steve. |
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