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The Midnight Raiders

By Josie

11 May 2008

I know this has been on a long time ago, but we are still dealing with mini-beasts and I wanted to show you how different poems can be on similar subjects. Now John has done two excellent poems on slugs, but mine is quite different (cruel in fact), The characters I don't like in my life always come to a sticky end I'm afraid.

The snail spends its night going chew, chew, chew
And then stealthily slithers on its layer of goo.
   Through the darkest hours it just feeds, feeds, feeds –
   And prefers your best plants to your common weeds.

Tender young plants just tremble with fear
When they know you’re in bed and the snails are near.
   The hosta cringes whilst the lettuce shakes
   But this criminal knows that you’ll never wake.

Large shiny black slugs prowl the gardens too
And they also slide forward on layers of goo.
   They chomp away at their favourite greens,
   Succulent plants and your lovely beans.

Hard working gardeners hunt down these thieves –
Who gobble their way through nice green leaves.
   During daylight hours they'll hide and wait –
   When darkness falls they’ll join their mates.

You can see where they’ve been by their silvery trails –
The bright, shiny paths left by slugs and snails.
   They've had their meals, committed their crimes –
   They’ve left their goodbyes in their trails of slime.

Copyright 2008 -

Reviews

Written by WeeAnn (35 comments posted) 11th May 2008

Slimy and gooey, just right to appeal to the young ones. I liked the repetition in the first verse.

I think the previous ones must have been before my time, so I can't compare, but I liked this one Josie.

Super!
Written by Katanga (802 comments posted) 12th May 2008

Another corker, Josie! I really like like this - particularly the final stanza!

I think it's really important to end strongly, as you have here - something I myself find particularly difficult!

Cheers!

John

Written by Josie (2533 comments posted) 12th May 2008

We're coming up to the season of tender plants, and the slugs and snails are waiting for them. I have ducks that come to my garden with their young. (One has just started bringing 12 with her). I do wish I could persuade them that slugs and snails are much preferable to Tesco's white bread. I put some snails out for them, but mother duck turned one over, looked at it and turned her beak up and followed me almost into the house begging for bread. She's bringing her young up to turn their beaks up at them too. No use at all.

Written by Fledermaus (3160 comments posted) 12th May 2008

Just watched CSI... I wonder where this trail leads :P Nice poem.

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