|
By Emmuttmax
|
|
11 May 2008 |
A short brain fart.
Marla & Sylvia
“You shouldn’t be doing such a thing,” Marla Reno told her friend Sylvia, “It might be an abomination before God.” The two middle-aged friends were sitting in Sylvia Blastivo’s breakfast room sharing a Danish and drinking cups of Oolong tea.
Sylvia snorted, “Fie, God doesn’t know from doll clothes. There is no harm, Mar, and Petey likes it.” She turned and looked at Petey, who was atop his cage by the window. “You like it, don’t you Petey, my sweetie boy?”
“Brrrr, gak, gak,” Petey responded, his head moving like a Fourth Street hooker going down on a sailor.
“It’s just so unnatural; if God had wanted animals to have clothes, he would have taught them how to sew.”
“It’s not really animals wearing clothes that bothers you, is it Mar? What chaps your ass is that Petey likes to dress up in girl clothes. You think he’s gay, don’t you?”
“Well Jesus, Syl, look at him all tarted up in that Barbie Doll outfit. Look at all the colors in his hair. That bird is definitely a homo.”
“He’s not a homo; he’s a fucking cross-dressing cockatiel. Of course his head is colorful, he’s an exotic bird you crone. Christ Marla, you really amaze me sometimes with your idiotic prejudices.”
“Well excuse me for living, I was just trying to help save that bird’s soul. By the way Syl, that knitted toaster cover makes your toaster look like a lesbian.”
|
Written by Phil (7012 comments posted) 11th May 2008 | Fart away. There's probably some whacko cult out there that disapproves of this sort of thing. (animals in clothes, not your writing - there's almost certainly a whacko cult that would disapprove of that)
Enjoyed again. You make me think of a text version of Gary Larson. Do I mean Gary Larson? - Drew one frame cartoons of cows taking tea and such.
Keep them coming.
Phil |
Written by Bottleblondesurfer (3590 comments posted) 11th May 2008 | Well worth the read if only for that last line.
Actually I have a bright pink blender and it does look a bit effeminate. Perhaps I should get it a hard hat but then it might just look like one of the Village Utensils
Good fun
jane |
Written by Emmuttmax (203 comments posted) 11th May 2008 | Phil, being compared with Gary Larsen is high praise in my book. As a matter of fact, I think I'll put it on my new book.
BBS, I've always found blenders fairly kinky. They have all those settings--chop, grind, pulverize, mince, etc. Yours might look good in an American Indian headdress. |
Written by TwistedTales (548 comments posted) 11th May 2008 |  ...he’s a fucking cross-dressing cockatiel...I couldn't stop laughing...what a hilarious picture it paints in my mind...thankfully I have a plain white toaster...fun read Max.
Regards,
TT |
Written by mia_ms_kim (1057 comments posted) 11th May 2008 | I have to admit I sort of cringe when I see pampered poodles with bows in their hair and their claws manicured and painted. Those pampered dogs seem to look down on humans.
Mia |
Written by coosh (923 comments posted) 21st October 2008 | | Brain fart or otherwise, a smashing piece of nonsense. Aside from the bits mentioned above, I enjoyed Sylvia Blastivo as a name, and Petey's Fourth Street hooker impression. May sound a wee bit camp, but I now feel my cafetiere needs a tu-tu. Fun stuff. |
Only registered users can rate and write comments.
Please login or register. Powered by AkoComment 2.0! |
Previous item
