Perhaps it is our ability to hate so fiercely to the very core of our being that enables us to love so exclusively, beyond the boundaries of time and worldly hope, like light and darkness, sadness and joy -- one can not exist without the other, opposite forces that balance each other out.

I've only recently noticed how varied our emotions are. And how extensive. Especially that. It's odd to look at myself in the mirror, and at one moment imagine that one time I was so furious, so readily murderous with rage, and then switch to that one part of my life that made my heart ache so badly, and then finally relive an experience that made my heart overflow. So many different feelings and emotions contained in one individual. Not to mention all the other emotions in between. I've only recently noticed how much of a miracle that is. I alone, as one person, have had so many emotions, thoughts, motives and feelings that can't even fit in a thousand-page book.

On the outside, our world is chaotic. There's no denying that. You look at us as a whole, from afar, and you can't miss the fact that everyday there are people suffering, doing wrong, cheating, murdering. And that's just a few. You flip through a newspaper and see all the bad things happening. And then you realize that's just the newspaper for your country, or state, or whatever. What about the other regions, with their own people, with their own troubles?

But then, you sit down on a playground, and look around. You see a small family of three, and the father sets the little girl down on the swing, straps him and gently pushes him back and forth. He jokes about it, too, and the mother laughs. You turn your head and you see two little boys, one with a chocolate bar. He'd split it in half and give it a part to his friend. You look at a couple in the beach. Hand in hand.

And then suddenly the world seems perfect. Pure.

Odd, isn't it?

There was a time in my life that I believed I'd die. There was a time in my life that I thought I was the luckiest person alive. There was also a time when I was so terrified, even to breathe. Then there are times that I'd give my life for a person.

And that's just me.

And then this is me over-thinking things. Blame the massive brownout this afternoon. But now that I’m home and sane again, perhaps that ability of ours to love unconditionally, wholly, truly, and permanently is what keeps us alive.