One by one, I slain  them all

Major's men.  They fell

Stumbled into disarray

It really was such fun

The women yelled.  "It isn't fair

You've nicked the way we talk

We really think we fancy you"

I pause.  I smile.  I've won!

With job to do, I set about

Righting all their wrongs

I wave my wand and cast my spell

Now, the Opposition rules!

I'll tell you what you cannot do

Good citizens abide

And as for all the rest of you

Just smile.  Enjoy the ride

Old people.  Yes.  What is it now?

Aren't you a needy bunch?

I'll give you ten more pounds to heat you

In the winter months

Your Council Tax.  You have to pay

Do you not recall

The poll tax wasn't wanted then

And, by God, it isn't now

Our hospitals are on the mend

It is a growing trend

That most who enter just alive

Will manage to survive

Hark!  What is that?  Poor Heckler

Don't you watch the news?

You're not allowed to give us grief

You and your lonely views

Now what is next on my agenda?

What else can I do?

I am the great, the one and only

Good old Tory Slayer

I must perform just one last trick

Before I stand aside

And mustn't let the Thatcher years

Be greater than my pride

But here he comes to steal the show

My time here's running short

I'll take a bow, smile cheesily

Say goodbye and go

No introduction needed

He inherits all my plots

Come to claim my title