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Diagnosis

By ReflectingGod

12 May 2008

Random after lunch scribble.

I am tired,
Broken, damned
And drained.

I feel weak,
I feel sick,
I should go lay down.

I need a nap,
I need some sleep.

I think it's heartburn...

Reviews

Written by Phil (6688 comments posted) 12th May 2008

While this has a pleasant roundness - if you include the intro - it does read like a 'random scribble.' It would perhaps work better if you incorporated the intro in some form. You then would have something a little humorous and slightly more than a scribble.

Just an opinion. You may be happy with the piece as it is.

Phil

Written by Josie (2780 comments posted) 12th May 2008

Gosh - have you cheered me up. ha ha. I think you should join Katanga in writing about mini-beasts, or better still join those writing limmericks. When I feel down I watch the news, and I know I have more reason than most to be thankful for the things I have. That makes me feel better.

Tell me why you call yourself "Reflecting God"? It is a strange name because you can't be reflecting God really, and then feel so down about things.

Josie
Written by xo_theloser_ox (16 comments posted) 5th June 2008

That is most definently a very popular song title.

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