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Great Writing - Home > Extended > English Slacker chapter three
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Extended Work
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| English Slacker chapter three | |
| By chrismorton | ||||
| 14 May 2008 | ||||
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By the time we were ready to leave it was nearly three o’clock. I’d sort of been keeping an eye on the time from about two but somehow the fact that I was starting work at three had been getting more and more insignificant as the afternoon wore on. We were all sun burnt and sweaty and it took us ages to get back to the top. We were so wasted we could hardly climb the fence. The more difficult we were finding it though, the funnier things became. And later along the path I was kinda swaying into the trees and the others were laughing and taking the piss and it was well funny. By then though a little bit of panic had started to flow over me and I remember wondering if maybe I’d got myself into a bit too much of a state: We were all well fucked. My mouth was feeling pretty dry all of a sudden too and I remember it was really difficult to roll a fag. Paul drove as fast as he could manage but he was so wasted. We were going about sixty in a thirty zone and he kept leaning the van into the centre of the road and veering back at the last minute to avoid hitting the oncoming traffic, which Alex was finding pretty funny but I was too involved in working out how I was gonna make it through my shift to pay much attention. We had to stop off at my house first to get my uniform. Yeah, I remember that I realised at the last minute that my mum would be back by then and I was telling Paul to park up the road a bit but Alex started taking the piss saying that I was embarrassed of my friends so we ended up going right up my driveway with me falling out of the van and stumbling in through the front door, trying to be as quick as I could – partly ‘cause I was late for work and partly ‘cause I didn't want my mum to see me in the state I was in. But I managed to make it in and out without her noticing. We pulled up outside Price-Savers about five minutes later, which was pretty impressive to be honest, and I said, “Cheers,” to Alex and Paul before running off across the car park. I rushed in through the back doors, tripping unfortunately on a till bar on my way and setting the alarm off but hurried on without looking back to see if any of the check-out-bitches had noticed that it was me. As I carried on down the aisle I remember I was like forcing my face into a serious expression but it just kept going back into a smile. When I got to the locker room though and started putting my uniform on, everything seemed a bit less funny. I suddenly felt well tired and really not in the mood for six hours of work. Then Bradby came in. He told me he’d seen Paul's van through the windows as it was leaving the car park and he’d come to find me fearing the worst. He took one look at me and at once seemed to understand what’d been going on. I met his eyes, which were giving me this sort of accusing gaze, and although feeling guilty I burst into uncontrollable laughter. I started whispering to him, saying that I was, “Really stoned,” and asked him, “What am I gonna do?” and then I started laughing again, still feeling that the whole situation was really hilarious I guess, with Bradby totally not amused. He warned me that I’d better sort myself out before starting work and then walked away saying, “You’re fucking crazy Chambers,” slamming the door shut behind him. I felt that I couldn’t start work straight away in the state I was in so I locked myself in the toilet cubicle and sat there for a while and tried to shit. I was feeling so bad, but I kept telling myself that if I could just get through my shift then it’d be this like comical story to say to everyone later. When I’d finally sorted myself out (water on the face, chewing gum in the mouth and that) I went off to start work. And once I got out and onto the produce section I was feeling a bit better, like more comfortable; although still a bit nervous about how late I was. Rather than heading out to the shop floor I decided to stay out back and sort out some of the potato sacks. If one of the managers questioned me about being late I figured I could always tell them that I’d been there the whole time. When Bradby and Neale found me I was asleep on the potatoes board.
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