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| Pathetic Bob on Beauty | |
| By Emmuttmax | ||||||||||
| 15 May 2008 | ||||||||||
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You are all so beautiful to Bob.
Beauty
“Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and it may be necessary from time to time to give a stupid or misinformed beholder a black eye.” --Miss Piggy Nature does not recognize beauty or ugliness; a rose is a rose is a weed. When animals mate, the other members of their species don’t stand off to the side sniggering, “Hey, look, Curtis got the ugly one.” Crickets don’t chirp sonnets about lovely damsels, and dung beetles love dung. To nature, there is no beauty, only difference of appearance, and there is no value placed on the difference. Everything is part of one. After millions of years, humans crawled out of the ooze, morphed into your present shapes, and screwed everything up by inventing language. As soon as Morris the troglodyte uttered the words “pretty” and “good,” he ushered in the Age of Judgment, and the world split into this insane duality we have today. If Morris had just kept his freaking mouth shut, you wouldn’t have these concepts of opposites. By naming something “pretty,” he automatically set up the concept of “not pretty,” and the law of negatives sprang into action. The whole naming thing was highly subjective and caused a great deal of grief, not because of the arbitrary names, but because of the arbitrary ideas behind the names. Humans—a name we animals now associate with “asshole”—had hoisted themselves on their own petards (whatever they are) and have been talking bullshit ever since. Beauty, as it applies to people today, is commonly referred to as “the beauty industry,” which includes cosmetics, apparel, odor enhancers, vaginal sprays, hair “products,” and any other lotion, balm, nard, elixir, potion, artificial limb, fang whitener, surgery, hair pluck, penile enlargement, skin darkener, skin lightener, or other form of personal indignity they’ve conned you into believing you need in order to get a job, get laid, get married or get on TV. And, you are buying into it to the tune of billions of dollars a year. I read somewhere “there is truth in beauty,” to which I say, “Bullshit.” “Beauty” is not truth, it is a word; the same with “ugly.” Truth is truth, and truth continues to change as science pushes forward and social norms shift. Beauty only exists in your mind; if you think you’re beautiful, you are, the hell with anybody else’s opinion. If you want to stay beautiful, take a bath every day; find “beauty” in everything; use as few words as possible; and be good to dogs. Chapter 28 Summary: Nature is blind; words have no meaning; truth is truth; take a bath. (c) 2007
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