Picking Up Chicks

There she is, a goddess.

If I were a technical person I would say that: Her eyes are perfectly symmetric which I find appealing. Actually, they are much more than appealing, appealing-squared is the only term to describe them. Her breasts are large and lively. I better congratulate her for being a perfect candidate to become my mate.

But, I am not a technical person; I’m more of a hopeful romantic. Her eyes are dark blue and they pierce ever fiber of my being, right down to my heart. I can feel it beating harder and harder. I can barely concentrate. Her hair bounces up and down as she walks, as if trying to mesmerize me with its shine. I better congratulate her for being a perfect candidate to take on my long walks along on the beach. It will be good having company with me. I hear that it is always safer to travel in groups.

Well, it’s settled then. I’ll make her mine. The next step is to talk to her.

Hmm, why are my legs frozen? That sure is odd. Oh well, I’ll call out to her.

Hmm, why is my voice gone? I guess the only thing to do now is throw something at her.

No, no, no. That simply won’t do. I’ll just tap her; after all she is right next to me.

*Tap Tap*

“Yes?” Her voice is like an angel! It softly resonates throughout me and then it vanishes. But, I don’t worry because my longing heart can never forget that gentle sweet sound. I will keep replaying it over and over again in my head, at least until she gives me more to work from. Well, it took me about five seconds to think up that vivid masterpiece of a thought and now she is starting to look at me quizzically. She sure is odd.

Alright, it’s time to make my move. She is staring at me. I am staring back. We’re having a moment. A special moment. My hands are getting sweaty and so I can’t give her a handshake. That’s right, we’ll need to hug. It’s the only way. Hmm, now what should I say? “Hey gorgeous, how are you?” No way, that’s too cliche. I don’t want to use cheesy pickup lines. I want it to come naturally. Damn! I got to pee. Alright, it’s already been 10 seconds. It’s time to shine.

As I am staring at her I give her a hug. *Hug* This seems to catch her by surprise, but it was the most logical thing to do. I didn’t want her to touch my clammy hands. I hold her. I don’t want this moment to ever end. As she is in my embrace, I naturally and spontaneously let the words flow out my thoughts and gently in to her ears. “Do you know where the bathroom is?”

She throws me off her, runs away, dials her cell phone and says, “Hello, 911 I just…”

Damn that’s the second time today. Oh well, third time’s a charm. There she is, another goddess…

© Copyright by Kurihi Chargualaf