Reduction : Jeff Fernandez: jfernandez@nhs.net

 
 
It isn't often that this happens to me...
 

Voice over the loud speaker

 
" Get ready and in order we are going to the track. Single file now."
 
We all stand up and get into line some smiling, others not looking at anything at all but ahead. I catch one in the path of my vision. I feel cold and shiver. It this what they call focus? Boy.
 

Voice on the loud speaker

 
" Right in single file and order... out we go"
 
It's a very warm night. They say it is ideal conditions for this to happen but it should not matter. There is always hyperbole and media hype in anything of any interest now. If it is not on the television the websites will pedal it and drive some interest from somewhere. In this world there was always someone who is, particular this type of competition.
 

Official

 
" It is 8.36 in four minutes the event will start. You will receive a countdown and on the sound of the gun firing, you will start. Not before. In the event of two false starts you will be dis-qualified."
 
We all knew the score and all looked nervously at each other except for Mr Focus who stared clearly ahead. I would hate to be his girlfriend, or boyfriend for that matter remembering we are in the 21^st Century and over trivial things like that. Yes the modern world ...of course we are.
 
I take my place on the inside three lanes from the outside left. If only I had found my ‘kick' in the last third I would be in the middle next to Mr Focus. I needed to be there, but when I tried my ‘kick' wasn't there. It had vanished ever since four months ago, it came back in England two weeks ago, but it was hard to make consistent. But I was here, and I needed to focus on that. I still had a chance to come good.  Here I was twenty-two years of age on the inside lanes off the chasing pack in the race my life had come to be built around. I remember the journey.
 
" Hi you're Nathan aren't you? Heard a lot about you from the other officers at the site. This is a trial to see if we can help you achieve something in the sport."
 
I remember his voice as clear as the day we first met. It was him that had the greatest influence on me then when I had come out of the borstal home into the real world. He was special and really, I would not have been borstal if it were not for Leggy Arnold being so bad at theft and really freezing in front of his aunt in Woolworths. Borstal for stealing chocolate from Woolworths or that is how it seems to my mother before the court date. I had ‘previous' and she was unaware of that and this really shocked her into not talking to me until I left the borstal. I was really sorry and the look on her face in court hearing my previous, I will never forget.
 
But I had to make amends really. I found something inside.Ironic really, I spend most of my life screwing around and being crap, but when faced with real authority I really became focused. I don't know why really. I felt protected and focused when I was inside with the time I needed, to think, because in many aspects, I probably did not think enough.
 
Anyway I had shown an aptitude, if that is what you call it, to run. I was always a fast runner, as the local police would say. Always out sprinting the others in the year of my school, but I never focused on sports at all really. Never on anything until the look on my mother's face changed me. Not that I am saying that borstal is a good thing , but probably for drifters in the mind like me, who have never developed the mindset of reflection, it is a good thing really.
 
I started to run and then discovered as the race's progressed in size and crowds, that there was more to running than just running if you catch my drift. The first National Trials was where I developed an understanding of how powerful the mind is in some areas. It was in the Sheffield Arena that I first felt some anxiety about what I had in terms of talent. There were really ‘big' guys in the field. As we were all led out for the first time, I was intimated and I froze a little. But on other occasions when this happened I always found enough from somewhere to get in front. I remembered this and tried to re-assure myself. But it did not happen for me in that race. I came last and was embarrassed for myself as well as my coach. My mother was in the crowd and she looked happy still, I figured that this was because I was somewhere where I could be seen, I suppose. But for me this was a bitter experience and one where I learnt that running is something that needs to be worked on and learnt, to compete at the highest level. The slightest weakness and that was it really. You were a goner and would be left behind the wining pack. 
 

I remembered my mindset and really worked on this in the post Sheffield sessions. It was there that I learnt to appreciate the science of running and how it could be improved. There was my start, the posture the angle of my legs was important. At the top races I learnt that even this could affect my race-time my 0.05 of a second. Not much time in the whole scheme of things but in a race, very important really. It did have an impact in the county races that before I sometimes struggled to win. Now I was winning easily just from focusing upon my start. Wow, I thought, what else? My coach told me everything. I thought at first he was joking. If only ...

 
The start, the first paces that could be extended and then, the middle. This was where the whole body can be focused upon. The pumping actions of the arms are important as well as the rhythm this has with the movement of my legs. The head needed to be straight and not moving around so much. All so silly it seemed at first but, that humiliation in Sheffield haunted me into focusing on everything and anything to not repeat the experience. Then there was the focus on the final straight and the all-important dip. It was important to reduce your shape so as to have a compact body passing the finishing line. It was important in the photo finishes that sometimes happened, that this ‘reduction' took place. I found this a difficult technique to learn. Indeed in my racing life up until Sheffield, it was never necessary. But all the things I had learnt from the science of running were now there. It had improved my performances and was now giving me good times that were along side my peers in the national team. Infact some of the times I had achieved were better. This gave me confidence in thinking that I could do it. I would not be intimated again and should be able to stand with those prime athletes and believe that I belonged there.
 
Before Sheffield I never knew quite how powerful the mindset was and the difference it can make when there is a cigarette paper or 0.005 of a second between being a winner and a loser. It is important to have confidence in sport always. I knew and felt that I recognized its importance now. Not before, but really this was always going to be a learning curve for me. Talent alone can only take you so far and it is attitude and application at times that really make the different. Oh... and of course confidence going into ‘Big' races. This gives you the all-important belief.
 
It was a long and hard year learning this, but with every adaptation to my racing technique and the confidence this instilled in me will give me a real chance to make it in the repeat Nationals in Sheffield I always knew that. All sportsmen and teams say it is important to get into a consistent run of winning. This can give you a rhythm and mindset which can make you gain that extra yard. I was going well and winning all the county championships and the national events I was called as a guest. But the unexpected happened and the stuff learning curve of learning to cope and recover from injury.
 
It was a hamstring tear and it needed complete rest. This was a problem, my mindset collapsed and I started to comfort eat what I thought was a way out of it. Therefore two months and a stone and a half later, there was I in a tracksuit again (Actually one size bigger). I felt that I had to start again. I did not believe I could do it... But my mother visited me on the trackside and said some comforting words of wisdom...
 
" I have seen you before son... run like the wind ... you have the talent and talent is always there just look for it again."
 
 I had never heard her speak like this but it touched a nerve. It seemed she believed in what she saw, and in that, my talent. No doubt I had worked hard, but this gave be some belief back. My coach thought to compete in Sheffield this year would be bad for me psychologically, especially after my injury being so near. However, those words from my mother and my belief in my talent needed to take me as far as I could.
 
 
 
 
Official
 
" Get ready and in position..."
 
We stood above our starting blocks but my mind had focused now and on thinking about the journey to get here in the final of the nationals gave me certain grit to my belief. Would this be enough? I am sure it will make a difference. I was not the frightened little lamb that I was last year. I knew that. I knew I had talent, and even my coach and mother knew that.
 
I remember the great man Ali, a champion in his time, saying that he would always enter the ring in the belief that he would win. This he always felt, and other guys mistook this for arrogance and aloofness. It was not, but it clearly intimidated his opponents and I looked to Mr Focus. Was he like that? Did he really believe that he was the winner already? Is it that simple? Well it can be for some people and those who win all the time seem to make it all look so easy.
 

Official

" Move forward... starting positions please." 

I moved into the blocks. The lane seemed very far away from Mr Focus who was in the middle lane. He ran the fastest times in qualifying and won the semi-final I was in. I came into the final as the best runner up. I had the times in the season to beat him easily but I was recovering still. When was this talent going to emerge and triumph?
 
" You don't just need talent but belief and belief in yourself is a very huge factor, in getting to that byline before anyone else. To first get there you have to believe that you can get there. Understand me?"
 
Good words and one from a person who had been a winner himself and was now my coach. He believed and my mother believed and now I was starting to believe.
 

Official

 
" Get ready... On your marks...."
 
There is only one shot at this now. A whole year of learning, pain and advice reduced to ten seconds or less."
 
" Get set..."
 
Here's hoping it's going to be less. Of course...now I know it will be.
 
" Go..."
 
Sound of the crowd and commentary... and then fade...
 
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