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Poetry
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Harvest Haiku
By Daphnerules
17 May 2008
Corn Fields

The festive spirit
Sways like corn in the fine breeze
Reaping the new crops


Harvest Haiku

Seeds growing new
With happy Harvest thanks
Giving is Harvest

Harvest Food

Fruit, gala, basket
We carry in our pride; enjoy
Gathering all kinds

Reviews
skool
Written by Daphnerules (28 comments posted) 17th May 2008
i wrote this piece at school at harvest please tell me if you like it! 
Daphne xxxxxxx :) :grin 8)

Written by Brett (759 comments posted) 17th May 2008
Hi Daphne. Whilst 'Corn Fields' is, what is generally regarded as, a perfect western Haiku (syllables 5, 7, 5) your other two pieces do not meet the syllable count: 
 
Harvest Haiku - 4, 6, 5 
 
Harvest Food - 5, 8, 5 
 
Seeing as you can write a perfect haiku, just a few amendments to these two pieces I believe will result in some nice work. 
 
Cheers
kwl
Written by Daphnerules (28 comments posted) 18th May 2008
thanks btw have you written any?

Written by Brett (759 comments posted) 19th May 2008
Yes, Daphne. This site is full of Haikus if you wish to trudge through all the writings. The one's I posted really deal with human emotions, so I suppose they are technically Senryu and not Haiku. If you care to read them they are 'A Drunkard's Haiku', 'Haikus' and 'Night, Night Haiku' (everyone seemed to be writing them that night. 
 
Cheers

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