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Poetry
A follow on
By awakenedmind
19 May 2008
From every bleak day that you can get through a bright light emerges to show you the way

awakenedmind
aka
Michael

I cry in the morning, I cry in the night, I cry whenever the sun shines bright.

Whenever I cry the sound is not there, as I cry with my eyes through which I stare.

My heart if so full that it could break, as I go through my day with my life at stake

Every so often the dark clouds break to reach to my soul and my heart to remake

Rekindling the love I have of my life, with children and wife the loves of my life.


Onwards I go to follow the path to bring me back out of this wicked crevasse.

On the top of the hill I can see right round this wonderful world I have right now.

More crevasses are there right in my path as the journey goes, but not my last.

I take on board such wonderful advice that carries me over the deep crevasse

The road is long but I am strong with friends around I soldier on


Even though my heart is full I see that now a road is there just for me.

Even now I go alone there is a notion that follows me.

That love and friendship are only as far as your heart will see.

Now I’m armed against seclusion I’ve now got more resolution.

To live a life with full remission, there I’ve finally made a decision.

Reviews

Written by lovelysarah1984 (79 comments posted) 19th May 2008
I like this poem a lot and I really understood what you were saying. It's a good piece so well done. 
 
Some of the rhymes didn't read easy for me but I like my poetry to have simple rhymes and a good strong rhythm but that is personal and no reflection on your work at all.

Written by Josie (2496 comments posted) 20th May 2008
To follow Sarah's thoughts. Why don't you get the book which many of us have been reading "The Ode Less Travelled" by Stephen Fry and work on your metre. Why do you always write sad poems? Are you depressed or just sad inside? I'd like to see you try more optimistic and happy poems, and so would many of your readers I suspect.

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