It was only a matter of time before I wrote a poem to my car. Although this, I think, might be a blues lyric in the making.
It's an Audi TT, by the way, it's been mine since January, and I am in love.
PETROLHEAD
Wild thing,
you make my heart sing,
I want to take you round the Nurburgring!
I’ve never met a car I loved like this before
you’ve too much power to need my foot to the floor.
You corner like a speedboat with no effort at all,
you’re the ice-blue coolest item on the Top Gear cool wall.
Ever
since I met you
I did everything I could to get you
I want to take you driving every day God sends
I want to fling your chassis round those dangerous bends.
Keeping down your speed makes my seat belt chafe
I want to break the limit, to the point where we’re not safe.
You know
that I need you
whatever it costs to feed you.
When I dock my i-pod, pump the volume high
and push your horsepower onwards, I believe we’ll fly.
And everyone will notice, now the rumour’s spread
For I’m utterly besotted with you - yes, I’m a petrolhead.
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Written by Bottleblondesurfer (3174 comments posted) 19th May 2008 |
Watch yourself on the Marlow Road, they've got speed traps.
Yu've certainly broken thought the passion barrier here,no-one could accuse you of being rational with this one
cheers
jane |
Written by Josie (2538 comments posted) 19th May 2008 |
| It is strange how people love their cars isn't it? You may not believe that I love mine which is 44 years of age and I am the second driver, but I do. It is a Morris Thousand. Daft? Probably. I love the sound of my old car, the smell of it and the fact that people come up and look inside when they think I am not there, and peer at the mileage. It has done 66000 miles in 44 years. They always have a story about the one they used to have if I come back and catch them. He comes out when the sun shines and will still be going when I've gone. It is nice to see that you love your car too, and to write a poem about him? Well, it must be love! Well done! |
Ah Cool!
Written by AriadnePresident (11 comments posted) 19th May 2008 |
Ah, this was cool - even the title seems very alluring to me and so I comment on this story now! Now for the real review, you only have two errors, and they are:
Quote:
I want to take you round the Nurburgring!
You need an apostrophe in front of the word round to make it like 'round. That is usually what happens with shortened words, like the word 'til.
Quote:
When I dock my i-pod, pump the volume high
The word "i-pod" should not be hyphenated. Write it like Ipod. Just overall, this was a great poem that you did, and the error were pretty minor actually - I just ponted them out so that you could see them and so that you could become an even greater writer.
Take care
 |
Written by patterjack (1095 comments posted) 19th May 2008 |
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Written by patterjack (1095 comments posted) 19th May 2008 |
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whoops -- New keyboard ! Twice as good a
Written by patterjack (1095 comments posted) 19th May 2008 |
Strange that all the way up to the Bay last Friday Bruce and I were having long commentaries on the Audi TT
Nice to see you break a mould in this piece. Fun
How lucky to have had only two errors-- but I would reduce that to one - the pedantic comment on round is hardly worth being ponted out !
I don't care to review reviews , but the last paragraph of that one is about the most arrogantly expressed review I have seen on GW
patterjack |
Written by Veronica_Milvus (492 comments posted) 19th May 2008 |
| I will try to be just as careful when reviewing Ariadne's work. |
Written by Brett (527 comments posted) 19th May 2008 |
Like this, V.
Especially the 2nd stanza - some very good lines there.
Have to agree with patterjack regarding the petulant review - but in defense their profile does modestly claim that they are 'talented'! So beware.
Cheers |
Hyphens!
Written by Katanga (805 comments posted) 19th May 2008 |
Aria-dne is quite simply wrong!
Take no notice of this ludicrous pedantry!
Your poem shakes me to the core - I have a BMW Z3, swank sawnk. More to the point, I used to have a kit car, a Marlin, based on an ancient (1930s) Alpha Romeo.
Running-boards, tiny flat windscreen, etc - went camping round France six times . . .
Anyway . . . Jolly good stuff!
Got to get back to my verdict . . .
John X
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Written by mia_ms_kim (915 comments posted) 19th May 2008 |
To me, a car is something that takes me from A to B. But it's refreshing to see a woman besotted with her car. I thought it was something that only afflicted men! When my hubby caresses other people's Audi's and BMW's etc, I just tell him, he should just be grateful for his Holden (or is it Honda?) I get confused???
Mia  |
Written by fellpony (1520 comments posted) 20th May 2008 |
Being a horse, I am of course besotted by carriages. I own one which total strangers come up and stroke.
However I do agree you can fall in love with cars ... and thought your lyrics both amusing and effective. Again, ignore the remarks of any vain and self-important reviewer ...
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cars...cool
Written by bwoz (125 comments posted) 24th May 2008 |
Over here we call them "motorheads", same as petrolheads I guess.
this is such a phat, "crafty" and "shifty" (punns intended) piece of writing. I have a Jeep Wrangler, do a lot of off-roading, but the thrill is much the same.
To drive a well designed machine in areas where even a horse could not go, listening to the engine purr, growl, and do it's work is similar to zipping round the hood with an i-pod pounding out a good ole toe tapping rocker -- I recommend some Keb Mo for the burbs, maybe some Stones for the city, and out in the country, well it simply must be the fab 4.
nicely writ, well red, and it is poetry so all the usual rules of grammar do not necessarily apply.
BW |
Written by Steve_K (53 comments posted) 24th May 2008 |
| Frickin Brilliant poem, I used to have an TT as well. Lovely car indeed. You expressed my love for that car perfectly in that poem! |
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