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By Emmuttmax
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20 May 2008 |
A very short and silly flash piece.
The Smell of Loneliness
Marlon Battlefield had trouble getting a date. It was not because Marlon was a troll or that he had the personality of a sea slug. In fact, he was quite a handsome man. Marlon was 35 years old, stood 6’ 3”, and weighed in at 200 pounds. His blue eyes were electric, and his intellect was above average. Marlon Battlefield earned over $200,000 a year as a freelance phlebotomist, so money wasn’t the problem. In most every way, Marlon could be considered quite a catch. There was, however, one slight problem; Marlon Battlefield had an overabundance of nasal hair.
Protruding from Marlon’s nostrils was an intricately woven braid of hair that fell a full 12 inches below his chin. It obscured his chiseled features and, for the most part, caused women to puke on his shoes. Marlon Battlefield found life as a trendsetter could be very lonely.
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Eh....Pretty Good
Written by AriadnePresident (11 comments posted) 19th May 2008 | Title-Was Pretty Good
Beginning- Pretty Good
Ending-Was Funny, yet I do have a suggestion for you for your idea of a story: Maybe you could have a happy ending to it, as it has the potential to it. But if it was meant this way, then that is fine by me - it is still a funny work nevertheless.  |
Written by TwistedTales (548 comments posted) 19th May 2008 | Oh come on...no one can have nasal hair that long...seriously? hehehe...and anyway he can purchase a hair grooming kit as he makes so much money...come on, buy him one and take the poor bloke's story forward...get him a date..
Regards,
TT |
Written by Livinginanattic (456 comments posted) 20th May 2008 | Yes, very silly but good fun. The title was suitably misleading so I didn't quite guess the ending. I can just see him meeting a girl with a similarly off-putting quirk, but would they hit it off together?
Ben |
Written by Mr_E_Writer (187 comments posted) 20th May 2008 | Yes, another fun piece of surreality. Yet Marlon is hardly a trendsetter as my nasal hair is a full 18inches!
TT obviously failed to grasp the fact that by clipping his hair, Marlon would no longer be a trendsetter.
As for our resident consort of Dionysus' suggestion of a happy ending, how about a follow on story: Marlon Battlefield meets Marion Battleaxe the Bearded Lady of Dark's Carnival. This might also appease Ben attic.
Regards, Regrades, and Retrogrades,
Eric.
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Written by Bottleblondesurfer (3331 comments posted) 20th May 2008 | I don't suppose I could have the name of your dealer, he must be selling some pretty pure stuff.I can't help wondering where this idea came from.
I liked the way you through in the curve ball after describing that Adonis,very funny.
Couldn't he glue it to his lip and pretend it was a tache or flip it over his shoulder and pretend he just had a hairy back.
cheers
jane [I must admit I have no idea what a curve ball it, really] |
Written by Phil (6687 comments posted) 26th May 2008 | Where did you get the idea from asks Jane? I don't know if you have full head of hair or not - I don't. The more I lose from my pate, the more sprouts from nose, ears, back etc. It's not bloody fair.
Enjoyed. Yes, silly - but well worth the read.
Phil |
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