Jay’s wife Malini had just come back from shopping with more bags than she could hold on to. She was very excited. She had the stylish bags from David Jones, Myers, David Lawrence, French Connection and some others. Jay quietly watched her as she placed the bags on the table and beamed.

‘I feel so good. I’ve got some great things. And the best part is, everything was on sale,’ she said and quickly opened each bag to show him what she got.

‘Really? Wow,’ he said, widening his eyes and giving her a half-smile.

‘I am telling you. I couldn’t control myself. And I have a treat for you too.’ She raised an eyebrow and nodded in slow motion.

‘What? What did you get?’ He asked, suddenly curious.

‘You will see,’ she said and gave him a naughty smile.

Back in India she would frown if he even happen to as much as come close to her in public, but here, she insisted on holding hands like the other couples in Australia. He’d seen so many of them around. Most of them seemed to him like they are holding on because they are afraid that the other person will take the slightest opportunity to run away.  

How can they hold hands for so long? Don’t their hands sweat, he often wondered.  

Everything about Australia fascinated him.

‘Malini, they've three kinds of dustbins here. One for cans and tins, one for bottles and one for general waste. Did you know that?’ he’d announced excitedly the first day he’d seen the trucks pick up the garbage.

 ‘Yes Jay, I know. Now stop getting so hyper. It’s only rubbish.’

 He liked going out, especially to the bank. He liked the fact that people at the bank smiled when they saw him and asked him how he was.

 ‘Hello. How are you doing today?’ the lady at the bank asked.

 ‘Hallo. I am fine. I am better today. I had loose motions yesterday. My wife sprayed room freshener every time I came out,’ he said and pinched his nose with his thumb and index finger. ‘I felt weak. I didn’t even have food you know. Every time I ate something, my stomach would go gudgudgudgud and I would’ve to rush to the bathroom…’

 ‘What can I do for…’ the lady said, trying her best to get out of the conversation. 

 ‘Have you ever had loose motions? You should have lots of liquids you know.’ Jay went on.

 ‘Sir how can I help you?’

 ‘I am better now. But I wouldn’t mind lemon juice.’

 ‘No sir. I was asking about your banking needs.’ The lady still managed to smile.

 ‘Oh. I am sorry. I thought you were asking about my loose motions. I would like to pay $100 in my wife’s credit card account.’ Jay gave the credit card bill to the lady.

 ‘Sir I am sorry. This is not a Nab card; you’ve to go to the Commonwealth bank.’ She gave the bill back to him.

 ‘Ohh. I am sorry. I didn’t look. I am sorry,’ he said. ‘Don’t forget. Lots of liquids, OK?’

 He’d just come back from the bank and was having a glass of lemon juice when his wife had come with the shopping bags. Once in their room, Malini took out a small bag from one of the large ones and went into the bathroom. She came out wearing mauve colored silk lingerie with frills and walked towards Jay like a ramp model. 

Jay didn’t know what to say. This statement had always confused him. He never understood why she said that after buying lingerie for herself.

 ‘It’s nice,’ he said.

 She climbed into the bed and turned the other side without saying a word.

 ‘Malini?’

 ‘I know Jay. I am very tired. I just wanted to show what I’d got for you. Tomorrow. I promise.’

 Jay sat on the bed with his mouth wide open before going to the bathroom.

 The next morning she decided to wear one of the new formal suits she’d bought and he knew an inevitable question was coming his way.

 ‘Does this make me look fat?’ She checked herself in the mirror in different angles.

 He knew it didn’t matter what he said, because either way she wouldn’t like it.

 ‘It suits you.’ He went back to his newspaper.

 ‘Does this make me look fat?’ she repeated.

 ‘No. Not at all.’

 ‘Hah. What do you know? I am changing into something else. I will wear this some other time.’

 ‘OK.’

 ‘So you do think it makes me look fat?’ She stared at his reflection in the mirror.

 ‘Oh! my stomach. I think my loose motions are starting again.’ He rushed to the bathroom without looking back even once.  

 
*      *          *          *          *

 Jay was particularly impressed by the public transport system and how easy it was to get around. He enjoyed dipping his card in the bus and listening to the sound the machine made. He liked the way things were so organized here. When traveling by bus or train, he had his own way of passing time. He would listen to people talk, especially Asians and try to figure out what they were saying.

 On one such occasion -

 ‘Chao gath maa. Taaligo Choo haiya,’ an Asian boy said to an Asian girl sitting next to him.

   I am sorry. But I think you are worse than my mother. Jay heard it in his head and had chuckled, like someone who had found something really funny, while others still struggled to understand the joke. When the Chinese couple looked at him, his smile instantly died and he pretended to look out of the window.    

*      *          *          *          *

Jay was still under the phase where he converted every dollar spent into Indian currency.

‘Malini, I spent ten dollars for haircut. 300 rupees Malini. Can you imagine spending 300 rupees for a haircut in India?’ He sat on the dining table chair and started adding and multiplying numbers by scribbling in air.

‘Jay, it’s just 10 rupees in local currency. Will you stop converting everything? I bought bread for $5; does that mean I spent 150 rupees?’

‘Oh my God, can you imagine buying bread for 150 rupees?’

‘Jay? What am I going to do with you?’

‘Malini I don’t like it here’ he said to his wife one day, ‘this place is not for humans.’

 ‘What happened now?’ She was starting to get irritated with Jay’s negativity.

 ‘Why do these people seem like they are glued to their headphones, like they were born with it? These people are incapable of a normal social behavior. They prefer to listen to music than talk.’  

 ‘They like their music. So what?’

 ‘Why do they act like the first words they said or heard was an Ipod?’

 ‘You get one too if you want.’

 ‘No. I am normal and I plan to remain that way.’

 
*      *          *          *          *

‘Hallo,’ he’d greeted them excitedly.

‘Hello,’ the man said. He was slightly wary.  

‘Are you from India?’ Jay asked. He managed to get out words in between quick, short breaths.

‘Yeah, we’re from Mumbai.’

‘Really. Me too. We stay at Mahim. I love Mumbai. I never would’ve come here, but my wife wanted to. ’

‘I got a job, so we moved. Yourself?’

‘My wife is a student. I am still looking for work. It’s really hard to get one. Sometimes I get very frustrated. Money is important you know. And the food here is not good. I have an upset stomach all the time.’

‘Yeah.’

Beyond this there was nothing much to say, but Jay really wanted to continue the conversation.  

‘Your baby?’ he said, ‘very nice’ and bent down to look at the chubby baby in the stroller. ‘She eats well huh?’

‘Yes,’ the man said and furtively glanced at his wife.

‘Why don’t you come to my home sometime? It’ll be so nice. There aren’t many Indians in this neighborhood.’

‘Yeah, that’ll be nice. We will,’ the man said.

‘Great. But soon, OK?’

‘Yup,’ the man said and the couple went their way.

In the evening, when Jay was telling his wife about his new found friends, only then did he realize that neither had they exchanged numbers, nor had he told them where he lived.