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For Children
Dark
By kevinrobson73
30 March 2005
Noah wasn't quite as smart as he was cracked up to be

Dark
 

It ‘s dark in this Ark

Put a light on  Noah

Or cut me some light holes

We've got air holes

But I can't see

And it's important to you

Believe me -It's even more important to me

That I find my mate

Before it's too late

And that my breed can survive

My strain can stay alive

Some animals can scent

To find their partner

Here there's just a seething mass

Of bodies of every shape and size

I don't want to be crass

But I've no sense of smell

And it's as dark as hell

This scene is set for a terror

And I don't want blood on my paws

for a major cross breeding error

Or shall I gain the dubious distinction

Of my species' extinction

Don't you realise

You're making it aard vork for this here aardvark

Doing his very best  -  all alone in the dark

 

Reviews
Loved this.
Written by Songster (52 comments posted) 4th April 2005
I suspected it was leading to a new species created in the dark of the ark. I think children would enjoy this.
dark
Written by prosperity (2 comments posted) 6th May 2005
does not hold much magic for me.

Written by luvccritters2 (5 comments posted) 2nd June 2005
thought it was cute. It would have been nice to have a new species created though I understand the aardvarks point of view. imagine if it was crossbred with a pig or something oh the terror. :p
Good Start
Written by in2focus (2 comments posted) 10th July 2005
I had to read your work a few times before I could appreciate what you were shooting for. On my first round, I was both put-off and confused as to your goal. However, on the second try, I thoroughly enjoyed both the humor and the subject. 
 
Thoughts include:  
 
1. Who is your audience? Being a teacher, I know that children wouldn't have a clue as to what a "seething mass" is, for example. There are several words and phrases that would fly right over a child's head.  
 
2. "Dark as hell" is both overly sarcastic and scary for a child.  
 
3. Silly question, but do arrdvarks have paws?

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