This is a 'mushy' one (Hello - Canadian Bacon!) for Joanna, penned after she advised me to cut down on smoking and drinking . . .
She's quite right!
Cheers!
Puff - Swig!
John X
Shepherd of the Stars
I write this smoking
As I suck my drink
Cursing my cigarettes
But think
That after all
I have no regrets
Cast off the rope
Of all our cares
And let us sail away
To where the Sun
And the fragile Earth
Roll into one last day
I will forever
Sing for you
Till all our songs are done
For I could no more
Shepherd the stars
Than leave our song unsung
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Written by Canadian_Bacon (120 comments posted) 25th May 2008 |
This ain't no mushy mush! Mush is graphical description of kisses and intertwined hearts that long for each other and whatnot.
This does not qualify which is a good thing, in my books. I'm sure Joanna prefers it this way, too.
-Mike |
Written by Mr_E_Writer (225 comments posted) 25th May 2008 |
The closing three lines made me want to dash off to my den to compose a new song that I would find impossible to leave unsung.
Nice work.
Eric. |
Written by Veronica_Milvus (768 comments posted) 25th May 2008 |
Lovely Katanga! saved the best lines for last again in your now trademark way.
What a muse Joanna is, or was! |
Written by mia_ms_kim (1057 comments posted) 25th May 2008 |
The progression from ciggies and sucking on drink to shepherding of stars and singing unsung songs is quite a journey. It leaves one with the feeling that the lady in question (Joanna in intro) is responsible for the transformation of the man. The cosmic imageries are beautiful. I love the thought on "no regrets" - that seems to sum up the poem for me.
Mia  |
Written by Brett (1001 comments posted) 25th May 2008 |
A touching piece, Tolstoy, those last two stanzas really making the poem. And that impossible image of anyone being able to shepherd the stars is a killer!
Cheers |
Written by Phil (7001 comments posted) 25th May 2008 |
Those last three lines are really something.
Like this very much. Not mush at all.
Phil |
A Muse (d)!
Written by Katanga (1537 comments posted) 25th May 2008 |
Sincere thanks to all of you above . . .
Veronica - Joanna was, and still is, my Muse, and very chuffed by all these wonderful comments, but not wholly amused by my not doing the washing up!
I may have to start concentrating on my longer pieces . . .
slowly, in between drying-up phases.
Ho!
Thanks again All!
Cheers!
John X |
Written by beatricelouise (215 comments posted) 25th May 2008 |
The final lines are right on. Well done as far as I can tell.
Keep writing!
BL  |
Written by Lizzy (838 comments posted) 25th May 2008 |
With everyone else, lovely. Makes the hairs stand up and brings a tear to the eye.
Lizzy |
Written by Josie (2847 comments posted) 26th May 2008 |
| Yes, I also agree with everyone. This is a lovely poem. How lucky Joanna is to have someone to write poetry for her. I am sure she appreciates it. I love your expression "shepherding the stars". What an imagination you have!!! No wonder you write for children too John. |
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