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Burmese Junta open up to international aid |
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By John_O
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28 May 2008 |
It is no laughing
matter for the victims of the cyclone, but maybe it is time a little
healthy derision and scorn is poured upon the heads of the Junta.
In a dramatic U-turn
the head of the ruling Junta in Burma today announced a complete shift
in policy towards accepting International Aid.
General Than Shwe spoke on the state television channel.
"On behalf of my fellow oficers I wish to sincerely apologise for our
earlier refusal to permit unrestricted shipment of aid to the victims
of the cyclone.
We have seen the error of our prejudice against the Western Countries
and now appeal for their fullest support in our time of need.
A major problem in moving aid shipments from the ports and airports is
a lack of suitable transportation. We urgently require 10 Lear jets to
rapidly move supplies to our country estates. Furthermore we need at
least 100 Hummer H2 stretch limos to move supplies around our estates
once it has arrived. If insufficient Hummers can be shipped quickly
then Range Rovers with turbocharged engines would do at a pinch.
We know we can rely upon the generosity of Western Corporations to help
us asset strip our crippled country while the people are disorganised
and destitute.
Thank you."
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Written by Livinginanattic (456 comments posted) 29th May 2008 | You've picked a thoroughly deserving target but I think you could have made a lot more of this. It could do with more humour and would benefit from going much more into the surreal. Also with a name like Than Shwe, he's just asking to have his accent lampooned.
Cheers,
Ben |
Written by coosh (868 comments posted) 29th May 2008 | | ... and there are obviously a fair few targets of a similar nature (including the US and New Orleans). In the case of Burma, the time factor is even more of a priority, a contrast between the urgency of the situation and the general political faffing around that so often accompanies it. Acerbic stuff with a hint of an ironic smile here an there. | Comedy bomb them
Written by John_O (140 comments posted) 29th May 2008 | Hi guys
I agree I could have gone further off the rails but mayeb then the message becomes diluted. These generals are basically running the country as their own feudal fiefdom and you can bet that many of the relief supplies will end up lining their already fat bank accounts.
They probably even think that they can come out of this horrendous disaster smelling sweeter after all their PR stunts.
Following the sentiments of the late Kenny Everett "we should round them up, put 'em in a field, and bomb the bastards!!!"
John_O
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Written by mia_ms_kim (1019 comments posted) 29th May 2008 | I don't know if I am cynical or naive, but I was thinking if Burma had oil, America and the Coaltion of the Willing would have CHARGED in to RESCUE the poor Burmese people from the cruel military regime. Why doesn't the West give the Burmese people the "gift" of getting rid of the inhuman military dictatorship? To me, they seem just as evil as Sadam.
I am appalled by the Burmese gov't, but I couldn't help but smile sadly when the western countries BEGGED to be let in with the desperately needed help for the people, but helplessly falling in line with the wishes of the Burmese dictatorship.
Ah, my blood pressure is rising.
(Our church is sending help via personal contacts. It's a drop in the ocean, but at least we see the pictures of the Cyclone refugees receiving boiled rice to eat.)
Mia  |
Written by mia_ms_kim (1019 comments posted) 29th May 2008 | Sorry, John_O. I forgot to comment on your work, so carried away I was. It was definitely effective in getting my blood pressure up! I don't know why I'm more angry at the West than at the Burmese gov't. I guess I expect more from those who profess to be the standard of goodness and righteousness in the galaxy. After seeing what I saw on TV of the Burmese gov't, I do not have any expectation of reasonable code of ethics or behaviour from the Burmese dictatorship. But I would not be surprised if they do come up with the declaration you've penned above.
Mia  | Seeing red
Written by John_O (140 comments posted) 30th May 2008 | Hi Mia
a lot of people see red over such callous behaviour of the generals, hence my little poke at them.
If we, collectively, throw enough comedy bombs at them maybe we can blow them away.
John_O |
Written by woody44 (775 comments posted) 3rd June 2008 | As you say John you could have gone further but this just about sums up what the people who AREN`T, sadly, sending any aid, think. How on earth anyone can deal with people who believe they are fooling the world with their staged hand-outs of food parcels etc, is beyond me. The sad thing is the Burmese people will have been kept largely in ignorance as to their Leaders roll in the unfolding disaster.
Nice stab.
Roger |
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