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By Bobgeorge
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29 May 2008 |
1. There’s a man who passes by my house everyday. He walks in tatty trainers, sometimes squelching in the rain. His hair is scraped flatly forwards. He runs for the buses and then stops if thinks he might catch them. I’ve seen him open the doors of the local shops for others but he never goes in himself. He tut-tuts in the line at the cash point and yet walks away with no money. He’s always in a hurry. One day soon, I’ll invite him in for a cup of tea and ask him just what the hell he’s up to.
2. There was a rope swing behind my house. When I was younger, in the summer, I’d go down there with my friends and we’d dare each other to swing out as far as we could. One time in Autumn I fell off and cut my knee. I was patted on the back and told encouragingly ‘You flew far!’ I worried for my own children when they were old enough to play on the rope swing, but I let them anyway and I persuaded my son to let his children play. When my grandson’s friend fell off his parents sued me.
3. He sulked and she felt it in the house, intruding occasional dinners and burdening birthday parties. She felt its menace and had pitched her tent many times under its brooding cloud. One time she turned the heating in the house up as high as she could, until it was unbearable, until her cheeks and his had both turned red. She had sweated and waited faintly for a response. Finally she had ripped opened every window in the house and glared at him as he’d barely furrowed his damp brow in the stuffy climate. She’d found herself complaining loudly, accusing him.
4. For weeks now his wife had kicked him out of the house. Every morning she told him to give her ‘some space.’‘You’re moody’ she’d shout. Then softer: ‘What’s wrong?’ ‘Ask me that when they take your money.’ He’d say before pulling on his trainers and leaving.He’d lived his life and they’d done him over at the final hurdle. Health and safety had killed him. Now he walked.He trudged across town with no plans, over to his old house and stood staring at the old knotted tree and its thick branch reaching out, the ground beneath it worn. |
Written by Leigh (226 comments posted) 29th May 2008 | Clever. You paint vivid pictures very succinctly. I like the connection between the stories and the way you give both the house-owner and the trainer-clad former rope-bridge owner's points of view.
I am possibly being dim, but is the man in number 3 also the trainer-wearer? |
Written by Phil (6730 comments posted) 29th May 2008 | Liked these, and the way they seem to be loosely tied together. There's a real skill in building scene, character and some involvement in so little space. You do it well.
Phil |
Written by Brett (785 comments posted) 30th May 2008 | These a wonderful little pieces, and (as Phil has already said) your ability to build both scenario and character in such a limited space is admirable. I think No.2 was my favourite - simply for the final line.
Very enjoyable.
Cheers |
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