Quicklinks:
|
Great Writing - Home > Short S. > Pathetic Bob and the Testicle Fairy
| READING ROOM | ||||
|---|---|---|---|---|
|
| COMMUNITY | |||
|---|---|---|---|
|
| ABOUT GREAT WRITING | ||
|---|---|---|
|
| WORK AWAITING REVIEW |
|---|
|
| GW IS... |
|---|
|
Great Writing creative writing community is designed to prompt ideas
and provide inspiration and motivation within aspiring and amateur
authors. Whatever your topic; from love poetry to Doctor Who or Harry
Potter fan fiction, Great Writing's online writing group is where you
can make new friends and improve your creative writing. |
| WHO'S ONLINE |
|---|
| We have 1782 guests online and 4 members online |
Shorts
| print friendly version | |
| Pathetic Bob and the Testicle Fairy | |
| By Emmuttmax | ||||||||||||
| 29 May 2008 | ||||||||||||
|
Further adventures of Pathetic Bob
Pathetic Bob and the Testicle Fairy
Have you ever done something that you didn’t feel good about at the time, and you knew that one day you would have to answer for it? I have, and I believe that if you are honest, many of you have, too. Well, today was my day of reckoning, and here’s how it went down. I was in my office, as usual, looking through nooks and crannies of the Internet, when my dog, Pathetic Bob, walked in looking all sad. He parked his skinny butt next to my chair, and said, “Judy is making fun of me. She says I have no balls.” I stopped what I was doing and looked at him. “What?” I said. “Judy said that I don’t have balls.” “Oh Bob,” I said tenderly, “She probably found out about you running away from that little dog up the street that tried to sniff your ass, and she’s just teasing you a little.” “No, that’s not what she meant,” he said looking depressed. “I asked her what she meant, and she said she was commenting of the fact that I lack testicles. What are testicles?” Like I said, I knew this day would come, but damn, I really didn’t want to get into the subject. However, I decided to go ahead and try to work my way through it. “Uh…testicles,” I began rather clumsily, “are ball-like things that hang beneath a male’s penis and manufacture…uh…fluids.” Bob lifted a leg and began sniffing around his penis. “Hey,” he yelped, “I don’t have any testicles. Why?” “Yeah…about that…uh…Bob,” I stammered. “You used to have testicles. They were real nice ones, too.” “Well what the hell happened to them?” he demanded. Now, at that point, if I were a better man, I would have told Bob I had his testicles removed when he was a puppy because the vet convinced me that Bob would be physically healthier and less crazy if I let him pop the rocks. However, I am a slimeball who doesn’t want his dog to hate him, so I lied. “Uh…Bob…the Testicle Fairy took them when you were much younger.” “Why would a fairy take my testicles?” “Well Bob, the truth is, your balls were huge. They looked like volleyballs. You kept tripping over them when you walked, and you’d bang them when you went out the dog door. You were in a lot of pain all the time. The Testicle Fairy did you a favor.” “Really,” he said, a bit warily. “Yeah Bob, and when she took them, she left you something in return, sort of like the Tooth Fairy.” “Who is the Tooth Fairy?” He wanted to know. “Never mind,” I answered. “The main thing is you got something in return for your balls.” “What did I get?” “Well Bob, the Testicle Fairy gave you a bigger brain and the ability to reason. Isn’t that great? If you hadn’t lost your balls, you wouldn’t be as smart as you are, and we wouldn’t be able to have such wonderful conversations.” Pathetic Bob perked up a bit, and his tail began to wag. “Very cool,” he said. “I got smarts instead of balls.” As Bob walked away, he turned and said, “Hey, Mike.” “What Bob?” “Do you suppose we could get the Testicle Fairy to visit the President Bush?”
Only registered users can rate and write comments. Powered by AkoComment 2.0! |
||||||||||||
Next item
|
|---|