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By rilLie
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29 May 2008 |
Penchant - a strong a strong inclination, taste, or liking for something. ^__^ I checked the dictionary. Lol. A quick poem for a story I'm writing. Enjoy. Precious and intimate
like a child's prayer at night,
will you swear you'd keep me in your arms
and always hold me tight? |
Written by Phil (7001 comments posted) 29th May 2008 | I can see this working very well as a teaser at the start of a story. While I'm not enamoured of religion in any form, I like the first two lines particularly. The second two hint at all sorts of possibilities.
Phil |
Written by rilLie (329 comments posted) 29th May 2008 | | thanks, Phil. ^___^ |
Written by Josie (2847 comments posted) 29th May 2008 | | Hello riLie - It is nice to see you back on Great Writing. As a prayer, I think this is very nice, but I don't think that you need to ask God to swear to keep you in his arms for I am sure he already does - well I have found that to be true. I think you should change the last two lines also. |
Written by Veronica_Milvus (768 comments posted) 29th May 2008 | riLie
That's a very sweet and intense little poem. I suspect, unlike Josie, that you are not talking about God here - right?
So don't change the last two lines!
V | rilLie
Written by Brett (1001 comments posted) 29th May 2008 | The first line of this poem, for me, sums up the content and also stands as its own review.
Cheers |
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