*

Sarah

She smeared off the rouge on her lips and cheeks, making it spread over her face like a clowns grin. It was ironic looking as she glanced at herself in the mirror. Looking back at her was a hideous creature, her eyes were bloodshot, with black under-eyes from the coal that had been smeared on them. She couldn't stand to look at herself. She hated what she'd become.
 
She washed every trace of the face that was painted on her. She scrubbed her face and neck with her hands in the soap and water till her skin was raw. She took off her gown and threw it across the floor. She opened the small window by her bed to let some air in and get rid of the stench from the alehouse below. She blew out the candles in the room, enveloping the room in darkness. The light of the moon was the only light. She stood at the window for a while, letting the air cool her skin before she rolled up the sleeves of her slip with the heat from the tiny room and got into her bed. She couldn't hold in the scream that had been building in her chest.
 
She grabbed a pillow and screamed her hardest into it, when she finished the tears started to come. They came in floods. This wasn't the first night she had cried all through the night like that, for as far back as she could remember life had been like this, one thing after another. She dug her nails into her skin until she bled. It felt like a release to her. The pain crippling her escaping through the cuts she had made. She could cover most of the scars she had made; her gowns hid most of her anyway.  She felt like a painted china doll, there to be looked and pawed at. She was disgusted that she had been allowed to be talked into the life she was leading. There must have been another way. She always cut herself in places no one would be able to see. She examined the fresh set of cuts on her stomach, upper arms and thighs. She saw how the new marks skirted around the old ones from before. They were pale white and red against the peach tone of her skin.
 
In the dark her mind kept reeling to events over the last week, what she was going to have to do. It was either that or be thrown into the street. She shuddered, she felt truly sick; her stomach was so tight it was causing her physical pain. She curled her legs into her chest in a bid to stop the pain. She could still hear the laughter from downstairs. She could hear the booming laugh from the fat man who smelled of stale ale. He seemed to leer at her from the other side of the room for most of the night. His eyes scanning her; instantly making her want to retch. The other girls around her were being paraded around the room, their costumes lewd and shocking.

There must have been about ten to twelve men in the room, the girls teased and flirted with men up to three times their age, some the most hideous people imaginable, but their wallets spoke for them. That was what it was all about anyway, money; she needed it and they were the only way that she could possibly earnthe money shee needed. She knew she would hate herself forever if she went through with what was planned for her. She hid herself into the corner, beside her, a girl her own age or younger was sitting on an older man's lap. She was stroking the side of his face with her gloved hand, the bristling sound of his beard  went through her ears making her want to cover them. She turned away from the shame of it all and stood in the corner of the room. Far away with everybody else, behind more of the girls. The bright green of her gown made her a beacon. Her eyes were met with most of the men from the room.
 
She wrapped her arms around her chest, she felt exposed; vulgar. One man, a man that must have been in his late forties motioned for her innkeeper to speak with him. She made her way over to him, she noticed that he continued to stare at her and smiled encouragingly at her. Sarah could almost see into her head she sees money she thought.  She refused to look at the man until she called two of the other girls to bring her over to meet him. She pulled against them but they would drag her if they had to. She was marched over to him and made to stand so he could look at her properly. When she composed  herself enough to look up at his face she saw he had the corner of his mouth upturned into a half smile and half sneer. His white hair was shedding onto his black clothing, like cat hair. His breath stank of ale and his eyes were red, he was haggard and wrinkled.  The folds in his skin made him look as though his face was melting. Her innkeeper grabbed her arm and dragged her to sit in the middle of her and the man.

"Now, as you c'n see, this one's a pretty one, new to the world if you get my meaning. I'm sure we can arrange a suitable price." She smiled, showing a row of stained and broken teeth. The man instinctively leaned back from her. He turned to Sarah instead, he didn't speak. He stared at her, at her dress. She folded her arms and tried to pull away from him. He grabbed her wrist and pulled her back, he smiled.He knew he had control. He pawed at her blonde hair, pulling her curls out towards him, she thought she saw him pass it to his nose and inhale. He sat back in his chair and grabbed her chin pulling her face close to his. The ale on his breath made her feel light-headed. The innkeeper noticed this and pulled her away from him.

"That'll cost extra." She looked eager; he dropped his hand from her face but kept her close to him. The innkeeper came between them and Sarah was let away. She ran up to her room as they were discussing a price for her.

She had came into her room that night, sat on her bed and told her that she had made sure they got a good price for her.

"You'll get a share o' course; you owe me money for your clothes and keeping that I shall take." Sarah tried to hold back the choking tears that were coming down her face; her keeper took out her old and moth-eaten handkerchief and passed it to Sarah. She wiped her eyes and cheeks. Her keeper took it from her and dabbed her  face with it. "No need for ruining your  lovely face the girls painted." She put an arms around her shoulders, "there's no need for crying now. You'll ruin that lovely face. Many a young girl like you has done this. It's either this or the streets for girls like us."  She left her in her room, closing the door behind her. Sarah Slumped to the ground she lay down and let the cold wooden floor. She didn't move for some time until she heard the others retire to their rooms, most of them taking their guests with them. Now as she lay in her bed she was so exhausted from crying that she fell into a restless sleep.