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Extended Work
English Slacker chapter sixteen
By chrismorton
02 June 2008
What I’m gonna talk about next is the day when I woke up with the fizzing sound in my head. This may well have been only a night or two after I’d gone up to the cliffs to look for Colin. There again maybe it was longer. It’s kinda hard to tell now. But as far as I’m concerned there wasn’t much time in between; at least as far as my memory goes. And if anything did happen that I’ve missed I guess it’s irrelevant.

So yeah, I woke up in my bedroom and there was this fizzing sound in my head. It was like, I dunno… like the sound when the radio is tuned between stations, except a bit more nasty sounding: Like a bad sound effect from a horror movie; although quieter, faint, but enough to be annoying.

I remember ignoring it at first and thinking that it was just ear-ache and that it’d go away before too long but I had a shower and cleaned my ears with cotton buds and let all the water go in my ears and yawned about a hundred times. And then after the shower as I got out the bathroom I had the new idea of maybe it not being me but something in the house so I started walking around in all the rooms to see where the sound was the loudest.

I actually went in my mum’s room first ‘cause it’s next to the bathroom; although I didn’t stay in there for long. Just had a quick look around, going to the window and back to see if I could notice any change in like the pitch or strength of the noise but there was no obvious difference.

I checked the smoke alarm on the landing to see if the batteries were okay and that seemed to be all right. And then I went downstairs to check the other smoke alarm in the hall which was all right too. I also had a good root around in the front room ‘cause there’s loads of shit in there – well, not now but there was for a long time. Just my mum’s junk, accumulated over the years: ornaments and papers and stuff from her art classes, nothing that could really make a sound but I figured that maybe there was some kind of dying electrical device or something, buried somewhere amongst the crap. But there wasn’t so I headed to the kitchen which… yeah, at that time the kitchen was no better as far as junk’s concerned so there were plenty of possibilities in there too.

There was nothing that I could find in the kitchen either though. So I gave up after that.

To be honest as in my mum’s room I hadn’t noticed any difference in the sound (like the pitch or strength or whatever) when walking around the kitchen or the front room and after a while I guess I wasn’t totally expecting to find something. The sound really did feel like it was coming from the inside of my head but I suppose looking for another source just gave me something to focus on, maybe, I dunno.

Anyway, finally I decided that if I stopped thinking about the sound then it might go away so I put the radio on to see if it'd like drown it out or at least take my mind of it, even trying to tune it to a frequency that'd make the same noise by putting it between stations; although actually this just made things worse so I gave up and left it on this talk radio show; one of those ones where people phone in to complain about shit and the host just winds them up even more and it’s supposed to be entertaining.

So I listened to the radio and made myself some breakfast of toast and jam and a cup of tea and had a cigarette and had a look at one of my mum’s magazines and watched a bit of TV – first in the kitchen, then in the front room (‘cause the TV’s bigger in there).

I actually watched a lot of MTV that morning. Now that I’m thinking about it I remember putting it on really loud and sitting in the porch smoking cigarettes wishing I had something stronger to smoke – partly ‘cause it would’ve been cool to have a joint while sitting there, what with the sun and MTV and that. And partly ‘cause the fucking fizzing sound, however faint, just wasn’t going away, and yeah, it was really starting to drive me crazy.  

Reviews

Written by bluecity (376 comments posted) 5th July 2008
Commenting as I go along: 
 
Code:
"So yeah, I woke up in my bedroom and there was this fizzing sound in my head..." 

 
 
I can hear my son saying that. "Well... oh... yeah... Mum... there's this fizzing noise in my ear... No, it's all right. I don't want to go to the doctor or anything." 
 
Code:
"ear-ache"
 
 
earache is one word! 
 
Code:
"cleaned my ears with cotton buds "
 
 
This is supposed to be very dangerous - and you are writing for teenagers! I suggest you delete it. 
 
Code:
I also had a good root around in the front room ‘cause there’s loads of shit in there – well, not now but there was for a long time. Just my mum’s junk, accumulated over the years: ornaments and papers and stuff from her art classes, nothing that could really make a sound but I figured that maybe there was some kind of dying electrical device or something, buried somewhere amongst the crap. But there wasn’t so I headed to the kitchen which… yeah, at that time the kitchen was no better as far as junk’s concerned so there were plenty of possibilities in there too. 

 
 
This has a very complex sentence structure. You need to sort it out. 
 
Code:
junk's concerned
 
 
This was confusing, as if you were saying "belonging to junk". 
 
Good chapter again! What's he done to himself? Very good teenager reactions, though! 
 
Rosemary

Written by chrismorton (51 comments posted) 5th July 2008
I think maybe you're right about the paragraph. I'm going to flag this to come back to later though. Thanks for the feedback.

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