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Shorts
Morning Walk
By awakenedmind
03 June 2008

This piece tries to put into words my morning walk today

awakenedmind
aka
Michael


A vast grey blanket has been spread over the sky this morning making you feel like you wanted to cuddle up to something (or someone) rather than going out for a walk.

But nevertheless out I went, after all it isn’t the dogs’ fault, and first thing in the morning our quiet moods seemed to be well matched.

The streets were deserted, even of moving cars, which for the first thing in the morning was nice.

No wind, not even bird song, just silence.

A steady walk through the streets and avenues where house lights were coming on and people starting to rise for the day.

Approaching the park it looked dark, almost mysterious and the rain started to come down.

Going into the park the rain came through the woodland canopy making many different sounds as it hit the leaves, the wood and the floor, I could hear the clip clop of my feet almost making a steady drum rhythm sound which seemed to become in time with rain. A stereo effect of a warbling bird song from the left and a straight sound from the right, together all the sounds were making a very different and calming almost symphonic musical effect.

Further down and getting somewhat mesmerised with the sounds around me, the pungent aroma of wild garlic hit me and with it the tangy 'iony' smell of freshly washed air, a base aroma of woodland then became apparent. The cocktail of aromas coupled with the symphony of sounds made everything seem worthwhile.

Walking through the trees and onto a paved section my feet clip clopping got louder as the path made an avenue between the trees, opening out once again to the garden areas whose grass glistened with the morning dew and rain.

Through the gates and back into the world and the bird song went, the drone and roar of cars came. Instead of the smells of the woodland the fumes of cars came through. People started to appear all hooded up or with umbrellas and all with faces down looking at the floor.

So the smiles the woodland gave me soon disappeared as we started home and it wasn't long before I started to mirror how others looked with head down and feeling 'off'.

Maybe I should have stayed in the woodland?

Reviews
I really liked this...
Written by Clifftown (619 comments posted) 3rd June 2008
...I thought it was really charmingly described. You conveyed the quiet calmness of the morning very well (I liked "it's not the dog's fault") and I was as disappointed as you when the world went back to normal at the end! 
 
Very good.

Written by Phil (6629 comments posted) 3rd June 2008
You contrast the everyday humdrum and grey with the peace and sanctuary you found on your walk. A well structured piece. I did find it a little over written: the paragraph beginning nullFurther down and getting somewhat mesmerised is a good example. That's probably just my personal taste. 
 
Amazing how you don't have to go far to escape the hustle and bustle. I've been out into the hills this afternoon. Wonderful. 
 
Phil
Like it too!
Written by Katanga (1130 comments posted) 3rd June 2008
Yes, this has great atmosphere and feel. 
 
A couple of niggly comments (no offence!) 
 
1. First all-important sentence - why 'you'? 
Maybe I'm missing something but why not: 
 
' . . . making me feel like I wanted to cuddle up . . .'? 
 
2. 'clip clop of my feet' - sorry, but to me this makes you sound like a horse. Human feet certainly make a distinctive sound, but 'clip clop' isn't it, if you see what I mean? 
 
I really like the piece overall and hope to see more! 
 
Cheers! 
 
John
I'm Wrong?
Written by Katanga (1130 comments posted) 3rd June 2008
Just re-read your piece - maybe there is an ambiguity here. Is the horse idea intentional? 
 
In which case, I apologise profusely . . .  
 
Cheers again! 
 
John
Morning Walk
Written by awakenedmind (48 comments posted) 3rd June 2008
Hi John and thanks to your (and everyone elses) comments 
The clip clopping was intentional, but not as an horse, my ankles were sore from doing a long walk over the weekend and therefore am at the moment a bit 'flat footed' during the walk it was the sound of the clip clop that made me tie everything else in 'musically'. 
Ankles a lot better this morning and the park sounded a lot different! 
 
awakenedmind 
aka 
Michael

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