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Poetry
FIRST POST
By Turquoise-Tangerine
03 June 2008

 Hello, my nickname's Turk
 and here's my first piece of work.
 Feel free to call me a burk.




*

With my stomach wound as tight as a clockwork toy,
I contemplate the paperweight
of unwritten lines which I bemoan.

There’s a weevil in a crop of creativity I am yet to harvest
- flies in my poetic soup -
annelids consuming unpublished tomes.

A mote in my minds eye; magnetised to virgin pulp,
forms raped seed wheat germs of ideas
I farm perchance to boast.

Like all would-be bards I aspire to be thoroughly read;
though not yet a thoroughbred,
glad to be past the first post.


*

Reviews

Written by Phil (6645 comments posted) 3rd June 2008
Welcome to GW, TT. 
 
I hope you get rid of all those little beasties. 
 
Phil

Written by Brett (731 comments posted) 3rd June 2008
Welcome, Turk, it's a strange place you've entered - full of wonderful experiences and people aswell as the banal and dull; so perhaps not that strange. 
I particularly like your opening line and last stanza - a good announcement. 
 
Cheers

Written by NathanRoberts (277 comments posted) 3rd June 2008
Is it too soon for a review? Give you time to settle in, wind down? 
 
'annelids consuming unpublished tomes' 
 
is imaginative, I like it.  
 
'magnetised to virgin pulp' is a great phrase. 
 
last stanza is clever, witty, I think you've past most of us already. 
 
Welcome to GW.

Written by NathanRoberts (277 comments posted) 3rd June 2008
sorry...that should be 'passed'...it says it all doesn't it?

Written by Veronica_Milvus (595 comments posted) 3rd June 2008
I liked the "crop of creativity" and the "poetic soup". Glad you have summoned the courage to start posting, some tightly packed images in this one. 
 
Looking forward to hearing more, 
 
V

Written by Robru (204 comments posted) 3rd June 2008
 
Welcome to GW, Turk. If this is the base from which you start I look forward to future work with pleasant anticipation.

Written by Turquoise-Tangerine (95 comments posted) 4th June 2008
Cheers for the welcome and comments. 
 
P: Yeah, cheers mate. It bugs me when things don't turn out on paper the same way they sound in my head. 
 
B, NR, VM. Nice one, guys. I'm chuffed that you liked a few of my lines, cheers. 
 
And Nat, passed - past, no worries mate, if it sounds the same then the intention's the same. 
 
Ta, 
Turk. 
Hello TT!
Written by Katanga (1163 comments posted) 4th June 2008
Just to say welcome from me too and that I have joined your growing band of admirers! 
 
Keep it up and you'll soon become a thoroughbred . . . 
 
What a first post! 
 
Cheers! 
 
Eagerly awaiting more from your good self. 
 
John X

Written by shirley_keeldar (67 comments posted) 4th June 2008
Hi there 
 
Intriguing first post, I'll be looking out for more! 
 
L :grin

Written by Turquoise-Tangerine (95 comments posted) 4th June 2008
Cheers, guys. 
 
How do you get 'L' from shirley Keeldar? 
 
Turk, XL.

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