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Poetry
Just a thought
By awakenedmind
04 June 2008
Writing certainly helps me to get things off my chest

I want to write and explain away

The things going through my mind today

My mind feels numb but not with pain

It’s just the thoughts as they ebb away


I try to think but cannot focus

I wander along some say thoughtless

In a dream I want to stay

And let this world fly away


Too much hurt pain and suffering

Inflicted on those who really need nurturing

I want to help but cannot see

A way forward from me to thee


Give some money, buy some goods

But does it really do any good?

Man himself is the problem

Greed and power needs resolving


World leaders preachers too

Have all mislead me and you

They promise what they cannot give

Yet still they offer more to you


To tar them all with one brush

Is as unjust as them to us

Some do try and find a way

To share the debt we all must pay


To find the ones to lead us through

Is something the world just has to do

We cannot run and hide away

And let the bullies have their way


So the solution, what is it

I fear that I’m not it

For I am as but one

But I’m not the only one


Together joined we can go forward

To rid the world of fear and torture

Is it too much to ask I wonder

To feed with love instead of hunger


There is a lot more yet to say

And to rid the world of its decay

Corruption also is a virus

An inoculation is now vital


Bit by bit we shall win over

And rid this world of those that plunder

To live in peace is not a whim

It is our birthright I intend to win

Reviews

Written by Turquoise-Tangerine (223 comments posted) 4th June 2008
Awakened, me old mate. For me, this is a bit lengthy and sounds forced/false. 
For instance:- People wander along a street, some along a road, where as you wander along some say thoughtless.  
And there didn't seem to be any set system to your poem as some of it rhymed and some of it didn't. 
You should cut away the crap and think about what you really want to say. 
 
Turk.

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