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By shirley_keeldar
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04 June 2008 |
the word trips about in my head and
stumbles over my teeth and
spills out my mouth
love love love love love
I love you love love you
love me my love.
Thinking it, saying it,
over and over,
it begins to lose sense
and meaning.
Love;
I was in love with love
not you. |
Written by Bottleblondesurfer (3590 comments posted) 4th June 2008 | Been there, done that, got the T shirt, shrunk the T shirt and gave it to Oxfam.
It doesn't say anything new but it's always good to be reminded
cheers
jane |
Written by Turquoise-Tangerine (223 comments posted) 4th June 2008 |
Shrunk the T shirt! As long as you can wash smelly socks and Y-fronts, you're alright by me, girl. |
Written by Josie (2847 comments posted) 4th June 2008 | | The word is easier to say than to put into practice. There are different kinds of love also. It depends which type of love you are referring to. You can love your dog, love your grandchildren, love to ski or fall in love - the latter kind of love more difficult to maintain. ha ha - or so it seems according to most people and according to the divorce courts. There is the love that goes with sexual attraction and the love you have of someone you have shared your whole life with. You should write an essay I think. |
Written by NathanRoberts (277 comments posted) 5th June 2008 | The more we repeat any word the more abstract and detached it becomes. Words that refer to abstract emotion are even more prone to this...but what else do we have?
Because of the shortness of the poem, it's hard for the reader to envisage the background...you've hinted at something in the final lines, but the overall impression is sketchy...you could argue that that is exactly what you're aiming for, but I was left wanting a bit more exploration of the theme.
I like the first stanza, and I'm wondering if that tripping and stumbling could be even more emphasised ...don't ask me how you'd do that though! | Thanks All
Written by shirley_keeldar (67 comments posted) 5th June 2008 | BBS - I agree with you, the theme is a bit overdone, and I tend to use the word love an awful lot, bad habit! I wrote this poem years ago when I was at school and recently found it among others in a box, I thought I'd post it up because even though I dont think its up to much anymore I've always loved it (groan!).
Josie and Nathan - "The word is easier to say than to put into practice" - thanks, that sums it all up for me!
Both of you said I should expand this - "write an essay" and "exploration of theme" - I will definitely think about this because I feel the poem is a bit empty.
Thanks for comments
L  |
Written by rubylove (1 comments posted) 21st August 2008 | yeah it might not say anything new but its exactly how i felt when i was at school, and still feel 6 years later! im totally in love with love!  |
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