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By spiderbaby49
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31 March 2005 |
Tried to write from inside the head of a guy in this one. Woman, do you know how much I want you?
If I kiss your closed eyes like this, first one, then the other, like a butterfly's wing brushing your face, does it make you shiver with anticipation?
When I touch your lips with one finger, so soft, so slow, tracing their shape and I hear you gasp a tiny breath, my bones turn to water.
I watch you move around the room; soft silk ripples on your body making a knot in my stomach. You will untie it with your caress.
Woman of mine
I still cannot believe this! I take your hand and lead you to the bed, slowly unwrapping you like a precious gift. Oh, just stand for a minute, let me look.
Magnificent!
You know your effect. Your eyes are telling my soul what is to come. In minutes we are tangled, dizzy, flying. We are rushing for heaven and, oh!
How did you become so ready?
I have barely touched you, yet..... from my eyes, my smell, my wanting? Incredible! I bury myself in your warm neck and spill my whole being into you.
Are you crying? See here are my tears Are you laughing? Yes, so am I. Be still my woman. If we break this spell, the world will end. |
Interesting perspective Written by Ed (14 comments posted) 3rd April 2005 | Nice work, although probably far more tender than a bloke would actually write. At least, one who's likely to actually get the girl in question Nicely intimate, although the use of the word 'spill' has a slightly ickky, if probably intentional, connotation. | Written by spiderbaby49 (137 comments posted) 4th April 2005 | I actually took some of the words from a real life situation. Some men can be that tender.in touvh with their feminine side, I think it's called!! Yes, the word was intentional!!! Thanks spidey | ... Written by no1butClo (341 comments posted) 7th September 2006 | i ABSOLUTELY LOVED "my bones turn to water", just thought i'd make that point, before i carry on . this piece is almost perfect, but i think you could complete the sensual feeling by removing things like "magnificent!" and "incredible!", maybe replace them, again with single words, but something more thoughtful [though if you're trying to write through the mind of a guy, i can see why this may not seem right ] happy writing x clo x |
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