This is a silly little story I wrote years ago, hope it gives you a wee giggle!
Tock the one eared tick was one extremely bloodthirsty little sucker. He loved nothing more than cruising the air looking out for something juicy to land on, sinking his teeth in and sucking away til his gluttonous hunger subsided.
Tock's taste was eclectic, in fact he was entirely unfussy, he would drink the blood of any living body; dog, cow, you, me, goldfish; anything that appeared to have a pulse.
Tock was always on the prowl, scanning for prey. One day he spied a big, round, shiny, juicy looking red thing that looked particularly mouthwatering to his greedy eyes.
A brief glimpse into Tock's mind : "Mmm.Big.Red.Blood.Ha.Moves.Eat".
The red thing waved about, hovering in the air, tempting Tock to try. He could not resist. He flitted boldly over to where the exotic creature danced, anticipating how warm and delicious the blood would taste, slavering at the thought.
Tock drew back his lips, baring his fangs. He sunk them in and--
The balloon exploded, shocking Tock into a state of catatonia, turning his coiffed hair white. He is now known as Tock the Ghostly Tick and the fact that he has only one ear is no longer the primary cause of his ridicule and is, in fact, another story entirely.
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Written by Asferthecat (834 comments posted) 7th June 2008 |
I enjoyed this, an amusing little story. I like your writing style and the idea of a tick being able to sink its fangs into a balloon.
One could quibble about the biological details but that would be to miss the point of the story. |
Written by Bottleblondesurfer (3331 comments posted) 7th June 2008 |
A cute little tale and a good concept, which always helps. It was simply told to good effect. I liked your effort at getting into the mindset of the tick, but it did stop rather that end. These sort of stories deserve a better ending and not that old cop out of there being another story to tell.I always felt a bit cheated,as a kid, when I read that, so it could be just me
Good idea
jane |
Written by shirley_keeldar (67 comments posted) 7th June 2008 |
A - yeah you are right about the biological details, they are most probably improbable but sometimes I get too hung up on getting it completely right and it sounds stilted, its believable enough to me!
BBS - I should probably change that last line "another story entirely" because it was just a little joke but maybe not as understandable as I thought and thus not funny! It totally wasn't meant to be a cop out because I too felt cheated by those stories!
Thanks for comments!
L  |
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