You can sing this to the traditional tune. Abide with me, but pay my share of rent,
Get out your cheque book, when the bills are sent,
When all my creditors foreclose on me,
If you have ready cash, abide with me.
Darling you see I live from day to day,
Before it hits my bank, I’ve spent my pay,
Debt and disaster, all that I foresee,
You of independent means, abide with me.
Give me a gold-card and a joint account,
With an emolument in large amount,
You are a man of ample means I see,
Take on my children and abide with me.
Come not in anger, be a gentleman,
Buy me some gold and diamonds when you can,
Pay my kids' schooling, and my parking fee,
I’m on my uppers, please abide with me.
Good sense of humour never filled a plate,
Tall, dark and handsome, some girls overrate,
Face like a baboon’s bum, I quite agree,
While you have money, you’ll abide with me.
Oli 05/06/08
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Written by Phil (7001 comments posted) 5th June 2008 | Not a religious man, as you know, but I still have a favourite hymn - and this is it.
I was wondering how I could have it at my funeral (years off yet, I'm hoping) and it never occurred that I could just rewrite the thing. It does have lovely sounding lyrics already, but the message is a little trite - and yes - religious.
Couldn't quite fathom if this was comic, angry or both. I suppose that you being a student, you have no fear of being bedded for your wallet.
Enjoyed this, Oli.
All the best.
Phil |
Written by LynB (435 comments posted) 6th June 2008 | Not sure if this was meant as tongue in cheek, Oli. I'm hoping it was, because not all women marry a man with money to look after their children. I've managed quite well without one, and brought up my son on my own, and it hurts to think that all single mums are being tarred with the same brush. I would never marry a man just for his money. I would marry him because he loved me, and I loved him, not so he could look after my son - I've done that already.
If this was meant in a joking way, then I am sorry, but I'm feeling a little sensitive at the moment. I've been through a lot and have a lot on my plate, and may be I'm overreacting. It's a very clever poem, just like all of your work, it's just the subject matter.
I probably won't see any replies to my comments, because I've given up writing, as I don't have any inspiration at the moment and I don't know when I'll post on the site again, but I couldn't leave this unanswered. |
Written by Bottleblondesurfer (3590 comments posted) 6th June 2008 | I can sympathise with Lyn, here and can only assume that female emancipation has quite reached the Scottish borders yet. I always had my suspicion about Hadrian's Wall
It was, as Lyn said, a very clever poem full of brilliant rhymes and sharp phrases that characterise your work. I just felt it was a bit, uncharacteristically, mean spirited even, if your tongue was firmly in your cheek [which I'm guessing it was]
jane |
Written by Talisker (1336 comments posted) 6th June 2008 | Lyn & Jane
Two of my favorite literary ladies, & I offended you both :-(
Sorry, I didn't intend the offence. I can see that this (joke) piece could be construed in a somewhat misogynous light.
For me the gender thing is unimportant though, it could be either way around. What it is about is parasitism, and that is not a gender specific trait.
Goodness, I should know - a student nurse supported by a hard working woman!
Oli  |
Written by Veronica_Milvus (768 comments posted) 6th June 2008 | Very nicely done! Great job. Yes, I am sure there are women like this, and WAGs and trophy wives too. The feminist sisterhood would spit on them.
But don't tell me men get nothing out of living with a woman (including the obvious, for free)! Otherwise why would so many of them bother?
Hard to pick a "best line" but the third stanza was a stunner.
nice one!
Veronica (happily of independent means)
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