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Poetry
Tainted Passions
By Rattle_Spear
09 December 2005
When I see all the tainted love in this world I do not believe that humans can co-exist.

Lost and abandoned passion

Can send most relationships crashing

I know it's unfair

I have also been there

When the flame of love goes out

It leaves the loser without any doubt

So always, add a touch

To that one thing, you love so much

Never let it die

You should not ever deny

That love is all you need

To make your life succeed

Take the advice of a fool

Make it your golden rule

Never let your affections stray

When the game of love you play

Don't go in to score

If you know, that love walks out the door

So again, I will imply

Don't ever let love and romance die!

Reviews

Written by Alice (64 comments posted) 9th December 2005
Hi Rattle_Spear, 
 
As usual a nice little taste of philosophy to get us thinking. This is bitter/sweet, but mostly, I think, sweet, especially the last line. 
Fascinating. What makes you think that humans cannot co-exist?  
 
Alice

Written by amboline (183 comments posted) 12th December 2005
I can't knock the sentiments, they are certainly strong and thought-provoking - good on you as ever for giving us lots to think about! I still have a problem with rhyming couplets as a means of delivering very serious material - the "music" associated with them tends to lend itself better either to light-hearted verse or to quite didactic material, but the strength of your writing is that it gives the reader space to explore the thoughts you offer. So my first response was "This should be in free verse", although on second thoughts, for a performance piece, this structure could be quite effective. The other thing I didn't like was the inversion in line 16 - you've ended up jumbling the words to force them into the rhyme scheme, which sounds weak. Some slight rewording (e.g. to "when love is the game you play") could sort this out without weakening the poem or losing the rhythm. Not criticisms, just suggestions for polish!
Genetic Blunders
Written by Rattle_Spear (93 comments posted) 12th December 2005
Alice/Amboline 
Once again, it was a supposition rather than a statement. 
I will try harder in future. 
Once written....left for the imagination. To err is still human. (I hope) 
Enjoy 
RS  
PS Sorry for the delay, I was busy wrapping gifts....Ho Ho Ho 
 
 
:grin

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