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Poetry


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Turquoise

By CharlieDee

07 June 2008

I would swim in you
Your turquoise ocean
Flecked with gold

I would immerse myself
Whole and drown in your love,
Your pain
Your sorrow.

I’ll breathe your salty air
And taste
Your salty lips.
You are so bittersweet.

Reviews

Written by Turquoise-Tangerine (95 comments posted) 7th June 2008

Sorry, mate. I'm not that way inclined. You're right about mt lips though.

Written by Veronica_Milvus (637 comments posted) 7th June 2008

It must be the colour of her eyes, right, Charlie? She is the sea...

With Turquoise-Tangerine it's probably his Laurence Llewellyn-Bowen style shirt.

"Immerse myself / whole and drown..." is nice. No tentative paddling there!

Test the water?
Written by CharlieDee (8 comments posted) 7th June 2008

Tangerine, sorry but the poem was not about you :P Veronica, yes it was the colour of his eyes (I'm a female).. and no, unfortunately for me there's never been any tentative paddling!

Ignore It!
Written by Katanga (1229 comments posted) 13th June 2008

Hello again Charlie!

I really like your short poem above.

If I were you, I'd kick off the shoes of the above silly confused banter and take a fresh look . . .

I actually think that this poem stands beautifully, sadly and simply on its own.

However, I would love to see this extended - I feel you've only just scratched the surface of something much deeper here . . .

'Your turquoise ocean
Flecked with gold'

That is brilliant and deserves to be taken further!

Cheers!

John X

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