Quicklinks:
|
Great Writing - Home > Short S. > Pathetic Bob Gets a Kid
| READING ROOM | ||||
|---|---|---|---|---|
|
| COMMUNITY | |||
|---|---|---|---|
|
| ABOUT GREAT WRITING | ||
|---|---|---|
|
| WORK AWAITING REVIEW |
|---|
|
| GW IS... |
|---|
|
Great Writing creative writing community is designed to prompt ideas
and provide inspiration and motivation within aspiring and amateur
authors. Whatever your topic; from love poetry to Doctor Who or Harry
Potter fan fiction, Great Writing's online writing group is where you
can make new friends and improve your creative writing. |
| WHO'S ONLINE |
|---|
| We have 1603 guests online and 6 members online |
Shorts
| print friendly version | |
| Pathetic Bob Gets a Kid | |
| By Emmuttmax | ||||||||||||
| 08 June 2008 | ||||||||||||
|
Bob's paternal instinct blossoms.
Pathetic Bob Gets a Kid
I was thrown for a loop this morning when Pathetic Bob trotted into my office and announced, “I want a kid.” “What?” I said, quite startled. “A kid. I want one. You know, a child. I want to be a father.” “But Bob,” I stammered, “uh…you know you can’t have a kid; you are male, and males can’t have kids. And, even if you found a female willing to have a kid for you, you’re…uh…missing…uh…certain parts that are required to make a baby.” “You’re talking about my testicles again, aren’t you?” he wanted to know. “Yean, Bob, I am. I’m really sorry, but without gonads, you’re not going to be able to produce the fluid necessary to…uh…fertilize an egg.” “Jesus, you are so dense sometimes. I don’t want to have a chicken; I want to have a mammal.” “Well, like I said Bob, it just isn’t going to happen.” Bob shook his head like a long-suffering nursery-school teacher. “Look Mike, let me spell this out for you…I understand biology. I don’t want to make a puppy; I want a human kid. I don’t want one of those little babies either; I want one about three or four years old. I want you to buy me one.” Now, I was really stunned. I was aware that Pathetic Bob loved children, but I never thought he’d want one of his own. “Look Bob, it’s very sweet that you want a kid, but buying kids is against the law. Anyway, I don’t believe you could handle the responsibility; you have trouble taking care of yourself, how would you be able to care for a kid?” “I’m not sure,” he said, “but I’d figure out something.” “No Bob, I’m afraid I’m going to have to put my foot down on this idea. If you really think about it, I think you will see that it would be unfair to the kid.” Bob looked crestfallen, but soon rebounded, and said, “Well, maybe you’re right, but if you won’t buy me a kid, can I have a lizard? There’s this little lime-green lizard out back living among the tropical plants, and he’s an orphan. I would take real good care of him.” “Jeez, I don’t know Bob. A lizard? I’m not sure Linda would be too thrilled having a lizard living with us. And, what about Bill and Catherine? Those cats are not exactly lizard-friendly.” “Don’t worry about the woman and the cats; I can handle them.” Bob boasted with confidence. “Just wait a minute, I’ll be right back.” He added, and then he dashed out the dog door. A few minutes later, he came back in followed by a cute-looking little lizard. Bob held out his arms toward Larry like a game-show model and announced, “This is Larry. He’s very nice, and he eats bugs. He says he will try not to bother your wife. Can I keep him? Please, please, please.” I looked at Larry and back at Bob. I was beginning to suspect I had been set up by Bob’s pathetic plea for a kid just so he could find a home for Larry. I was conflicted, but I just couldn’t refuse, so I acquiesced. “Ok Bob, we’ll try it out, but Larry is your responsibility. And Bob, under no circumstances is Larry to sleep in our bed.” “Yeah, fine, whatever,” said Bob, and then he turned to Larry and said, “He says it’s cool, Larry. Now come on into the den, and I’ll introduce you to the other dogs.” “Hold on a minute Bob,” I said, before he could trot off. “Why this interest in having a kid all of a sudden? I don’t get it.” “It’s not that hard to figure out; I want to have someone to depend on me like I depend on you. But, most of all, I just want to expand my love.” How could I possibly argue with that? (c) 2008
Only registered users can rate and write comments. Powered by AkoComment 2.0! |
||||||||||||
Next item
|
|---|