I don't know if any of you have read my book, Laura's Letters, which I put on over a year ago now. The grandfather I am mentioning in this story, was Laura's husband. This weekend we went to the Lake District to see my aunt who was visiting from America. I hadn’t been there since we went camping with our kids, maybe 25 years ago, and it amazed me by how beautiful it was. Luckily the sun was out and the place made a good impression on my Californian relatives.
Inez, my aunt, is only 9 years older than me, but this is only the second time I have ever seen her. My father was the oldest in their family of seven children - and he had already left home by the time she was born. And although she was born in North Dakota, as I was, by the time I was five, she and her younger brother and parents had moved to California. We had no money for going to visit them - nor indeed did they have money to come back to see us, even if they had wanted to.
My grandfather (who I think I only met once) was, according to Inez, a misogenist. He felt that women, because they were incapable of working hard (according to him) were of very little value. Inez says he adored her son, and ignored her daughter.
Inez remembered that when they first moved to California, and were all working on a cotton farm, she was expected to do the work of a man. She would have been about 14 at the time. The cotton plants needed much more water than was available from just the meager rainfall of Fresno. There was a ditch not too far from their fields, and the plan was for her to make a cutting from the ditch so some of the water would run down close to their property. Then she had to take a tube and syphen the water somehow so that it ran into the rows of cotton plants. It was exhausting work, in the hot sun - and during this process she got a nosebleed that wouldn’t stop. Eventually she got up the courage to tell her dad about it and say she had to go to the house. And apparently the bleeding didn’t stop until 11 that night. Inez says her father never asked about it, but her mother confronted him and said that from now on, she was not to be used like a man. And apparently he did let up on her a bit after that.
My only memory of my grandfather would confirm his disregard of females. He showed no interest whatsoever of me and my sister, but dragged my father out to see his fruit trees in the middle of the night, by the light of a torch. That was when we were in our early teens, and Inez had just got married - but I don't really remember much of her from that visit.
I knew I would recognise Inez, as I had seen fairly recent pictures of her, but I was rather hoping I could see something in her looks that made a family link. But I couldn’t really. However, the first thing she said to me was that I had my father’s smile - which was nice to know. |
Written by Phil (6683 comments posted) 10th June 2008 | But not your grandfather's - which would have been a bit scary. Must be odd meeting family members that are close by blood but ou've hardly ever seen.
I always think of cotton plants and the farming of them in the US as an early twentieth century thing - clearly wrong.
As ever - full of interest. Start with the lake district, move onto history and sexual politics!
Enjoyed.
Back to your book soon.
Phil | Thanks Phil
Written by jean.day (2266 comments posted) 10th June 2008 | I have reformatted it to make it easier to read. I don't know why that happened. It was fine when I posted it, as I checked it out.
The cotton industry in the States was mainly in the southeast to start with. I don't think California started it until after the great influx of midwestrners after the bad weather of the 30's destroyed so much land for farming. In the Grapes of Wrath, Steinbeck tells about that. My relatives moved there in 1948. I don't know if much cotton in grown there now. I rather doubt it. |
Written by Lizzy (790 comments posted) 11th June 2008 | Another good insight into your family history Jean.
There was an interesting article in the sunday paper about cotton farming in Egypt, children paid 20p a day to pick cotton which makes the most expensive sheets!!
I dare say your aunt could sympathise with the hard work involved.
A good read
|
Written by Bottleblondesurfer (3331 comments posted) 11th June 2008 | A fascinating insight into family history. You always put so much research into your work. As Phil said, you effortlessly cover so many different strands and pull them all together in a style that is so readable. It's often difficult to be informative and engaging but you seem to manage it with ease. I'm quite envious
cheers
jane |
Written by mia_ms_kim (997 comments posted) 11th June 2008 | I always find human story interesting. Your misogenist grandfather was fascinating. Where I come from (Asia), I've heard of (and seen) more female "misogenists" who despise their own gender and their own female offspring. It is fascinating to hear of human stories that revolve around misogenists from any culture.
Mia  | Thanks Lizzy, Jane and Mia
Written by jean.day (2266 comments posted) 12th June 2008 | To think that those picking cotton today only get 20 p a day. But what would we do without our pure cotton sheets?
And they are darn expensive, so somebody in the middle is making a huge profit.
I hadn't realised that my grandfather was a misogenist before this meeting with Inez. I thought of him as a very shy, quiet man - which he might well have been. Now thinking back to his sons - I think they all treated women very well - so at least he didn't pass the trait on. | Hi Jean
Written by Clifftown (619 comments posted) 15th June 2008 | I really admire how much you've managed to say here in relatively few words. And as usual, you write so well that I felt I was actually there with Inez on the cotton farm.
I loved the understated ending, about you having your father's smile, lovely and comforting and of course a warm family reference. A lovely read.
| Thanks Nina
Written by jean.day (2266 comments posted) 16th June 2008 | | Inez has gone home again - left on Saturday - and they didn't do much sight seeing in the end. What a waste of a trip. She said the high light was seeing us. |
Written by TwistedTales (548 comments posted) 18th June 2008 | I read this piece of yours a few days, but at that time didn't have the time to post my comment. It is painful to be around someone who doesn't like you, especially if it's one of your family members, so I understand how hard it must have been to be around your grandfather. And obviously your mom would have suffered more...sad and touching...I liked it.
Regards,
TT | Thanks TT
Written by jean.day (2266 comments posted) 19th June 2008 | It wasn't quite like that. Since I never saw my grandfather, only meeting him for a few days on one occasion, it wasn't really painful to have him ignore me and my sister. And I thought it was because he was shy - not having been told that he just didn't like females.
My mother's father was similar, I think - although he died when I was about 4, so I never knew him at all, but reports are that he was dismissive of his girls, and valued his sons for the work he could get from them on the farm. |
Only registered users can rate and write comments.
Please login or register. Powered by AkoComment 2.0! |
Previous item
