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Poetry


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Love Me Always

By Becca2010

11 June 2008

This is just a silly poem I wrote a few months ago after watching Pride and Prejudice for the first time (the new version). I was having one of those "Im so inspired and I don't know what to do" moments. So, this is the outcome of that. It's rather silly really, but I can't help but think its just a little cute.

I want a knight on a black horse.

Chariots of fire.

Someone who is bold enough to fuel all my desire.

A Jack and Sally romance.

All strings attached.

Nothing there to stop us.

No turning back.

Take me to a field in the dead of night.

Just the stars will be our light.

Everything I have to say.

Means the world to you each day.

Hold me close and never let go.

Always let your feelings show.

Love me then like you love me now.

I’ll never have to ask you how.

Kiss me just because you can.

Cherish each time you hold my hand.

Never let me go away.

Hold me just so I will stay.

Keep my heart dont set it free.

Forever and always Just you and me.

Reviews

Written by Josie (2847 comments posted) 12th June 2008

Welcome to Great Writing. Your poem needs to be divided into verses - single spacing with a double line between the verses. It is too much on the eye to take in such a long poem in double spacing. I would also advise the use of punctuation to divide the sentences to make it easier to read. Hope this helps.

Written by lovelysarah1984 (82 comments posted) 12th June 2008

I agree with Josie but the poem itself was lovely. Well I thought so. I like something simple and a bit soppy lol.

Very good for a first attempt but definately take heed of Josie's advice and lay it out a little better.

Sarahxxx

Hi Becca
Written by Goddess (124 comments posted) 14th June 2008

*smiles* I don't know very much about the structure a poem should take so I'll comment on the poem itself which I thought was really very good. I like love poems. I actually was drawn in by the first coupld of lines -

I want a knight on a black horse.
Chariots of Fire

I loved your imagery here and the italics that you used on black which was very much out of the norm.

I really liked it and Welcome to Great Writing. If you ever need a crit or anything or if you are just plain bored, feel free to PM me!

Hope to see more of your work soon!

Goddess x

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