Do you ever wonder happens to the stars of the past? I think that the vast marjority of them plug haemorrhoid cream, or stairlifts, but some of the really famous stars burn brightly for just a few years, and then disappear into relative anonymity.

Mack the Knife hit it really big in the late 50s with his collaboration with Frank "Ol' Blue Eyes" Sinatra. None of his previous forays into showbiz had turned out very well, but the "Knifester" (as his early, pre-fame friends knew him) had a final stab at success when he sent a demo tape to Decca Records. The rest, as they say, is history. Leaving his erstwhile buddies, Eric the Fork and Vic the Spoon, to continue working in the restaurant industry, Mack upped and settled in L.A., buying a small condo with the advance on his 5-album deal.

Sadly, Mack never really fitted in to the Rat Pack lifestyle of that era. Soon, everybody found that the Knife couldn't take his drink...and when he woke up one morning next to Christine Keeler, he knew that the time for partying the night away was over. Mack threw himself back into his work, but his second album ("Hot Knife Through Butter", 1969) bombed on such a scale that the record company wouldn't even see the tour through. Which was in itself a blessing, because items of cutlery aren't generally known for their stage presence. Especially since they can't hold the microphone.

The fairytale was over. Mack the Knife had lost his cutting edge. He descending into a spiral of self-loathing and self-harm. He cut himself, regularly, and believe me, shaving was no picnic. However, help was at hand. In 1973, after some time in the less salubrious area of Los Angeles, Mack ran into Vic the Spoon in an all-night off-licence. Despite Mack's request of 5 bucks to buy some lighter fuel to get high on, Vic took his old friend back to his flat, where Eric the Fork was making spaghetti. Fortunately, there was more than enough to go round, and after the 4 hours that it took the knife to eat his, the 3 high school friends went to sleep.

Mack realised that this is what he had missed....the friendships that he had lost through his own greed and ambition. He moved back to Connecticut, and his life calmed down a lot...he'd lost his cutting edge. Mack soon got married to a lady who was used to beat eggs. It was a whisk he had to take.

And they lived happily ever after.....the end.