This was written after witnessing a Haflinger foal being born in our barn.
First fluid
Flows in subtle stream
then
Gushes in sudden drench
Soaking, saturating,
Precipitating
Inevitability.
No longer cushioned
Slick sliding forward
Following the rich river
Downstream
The smell of birth
Clings to shoes, clothes, hands
As soaked in soupy brine
I reach to embrace new life
Sliding toward me.
I too was caught once;
Three times emptied into other hands
My babies wet on my chest
Their slippery skin
Under my lips
Salty sweet
In a moment's scent
The rush of life returns;
Now only barn birthings
Yet still as sweet and rich.
I carry the smell of damp foal fur
With me all day to
Recall from whence I came.
I floated once
And will float someday again.
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Written by DaleGorder (46 comments posted) 15th June 2008 |
Welome Bri, 
I was raised on a farm myself...years ago...no, even farther back than that..lol
Anyway, we raised a lot of cattle and had horses. I saw the birthing and helped with it many times. I like your version of it way better than my memory! lol Well done. |
Written by Josie (2847 comments posted) 15th June 2008 |
| You have really brought to life the wonderful sensation of birth. Anyone who hasn't witnessed a new life coming to our earth has missed something important. Although we go through pain, I think we women have the best of it, for the feeling experienced of giving birth to new life is something men can never quite feel. Oh, I must remember it is Father's Day today. Shut up. ha ha. Well done for your first poem. |
Written by DaleGorder (46 comments posted) 15th June 2008 |
Bri,
I'm sure you don't know it but you just received praise from a grand lady of poetry. I'm impressed! |
Written by Phil (7001 comments posted) 15th June 2008 |
Certainly brought your experience to life - you dragged the reader in with the first verse. I'm not a fan of shot lines, but this did have a real sense of immediacy to it. Liked 'slick sliding' very much.
I lost some of the narrative/thought flow here:
I too was caught once;
Three times emptied into other hands
My babies wet on my chest
You seem to be referring to your own birth and then not - all in the same sentence.
Float again? Let's hope so.
Phil
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Written by briarcroft (38 comments posted) 15th June 2008 |
thank you Dale, Josie and Phil for your wonderful comments!
Phil, you are right, that is an awkward sentence describing my own birth, my three childrens' birth and within the context of being a physician who has delivered quite a number of human babies in my career.
There was something about the fact that amniotic fluid smells just the same, no matter the species...
Emily |
Written by CatGem (33 comments posted) 15th June 2008 |
what a marvellous piece
I agree with Phil about getting a bit lost here:
I too was caught once;
Three times emptied into other hands
My babies wet on my chest
I'm not sure if you're being birthed or giving birth, or both?
thank you so much for sharing,
Stephanie |
New life
Written by bobc (51 comments posted) 15th June 2008 |
Hi Emily,
Brought home birth, even to a guy. Having grown up on a large farm helped me relate.
And yeh, got a little lost in the births of whom the lines refered to. |
Written by Veronica_Milvus (768 comments posted) 16th June 2008 |
Lovely lines - told me about something I don't personally know, so you shared that experience with me. As for your sudden swtich of perspective, perhaps you could do this:
I too was caught once;
And three times emptied into other hands
My babies wet on my chest
the "emptied" there is a powerful word.
Thanks for posting this, really liked it.
|
Good stuff
Written by fellpony (1749 comments posted) 19th June 2008 |
I do think having experienced birth makes you a better midwife. I've mainly dealt with lambs and calves, though I did partner my daughter when she had her daughter.
"Under my lips
Salty sweet"
is a great combination of words, too. |
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