I Resign

Behold the eyes that haunt us.
The one who set no limits, who set no boundaries.
Living on a line of blasphemy.
Living without a seconds regret.
I walk this line, straight trippin’.
Not a slave, not some mindless fuck.
I’m just a faggot reeking of death.
Thought myself better than the rest.
Manipulate my ego, give it a little boost.
To play innocent before God, and the rest of the onlookers.
But the path of life I drew, narrow only enough for me,
I find in flames, and myself lost in the entourage of all else.
Drowning in all our ignorance.
And grasping for their acceptance.
Should I resign myself to death, to live just like the rest?
Or should I continue down this shithole to claim myself my own?
All else failed. The way I took left me lost to them.
If they cannot follow, they cannot understand.
Standing before the throne of judgment,
My sins confess themselves in appearance.
Will they even know my name?
Who do I run to when I have no one else to blame…
What do I say when I know I’m guilty…
When will people allow for lives to be lived as their own,
And not see this as vain…

Looking in the mirror tonight,
I see myself as others do.
Judge with good intention, but without reason.
Guilt. No pity given.
Despite what the Godfearers say, we alone can offer mercy.
None given.
For the first time in my life I do not shatter this image.
I embrace it, if only to change it.
Deny myself me, become we.
Another shell in this empty sociality.

I hesitate to speak…
If God exists, then to Him I pray.
Rain down your power.  May you be mercy.
For in my heart I know, that I wish for all this world to burn away.

You’re all sinners just like me.
See through this vice you call a cornerstone.
Look in my eyes and see the lie in my final line.
If God there be, look in my heart and see that this is not who I was born to be.

Looking into my own eyes, I speak..
“I resign.”