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Poetry
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Still Waters
By Katanga
17 June 2008

I am inspired by 'backstreetdreamer' Keith's recently-posted beautiful poems, and thought I would try something a little more melifluous than my usual . . .

This is not a patch on his, but I'm hoping to learn!

Anyone spot the Yeats allusion? Ho!

Cheers!

John X (or is it Katie? Dunno today!)



Still  Waters

I live by dark still waters deep
yet in my dreams I find no sleep.
For in your eyes the seas run wild
and through your song I am beguiled

by each soft word that flees your lips
to sing among a thousand ships
that hurry Time and times undone
towards our ever sinking sun.

Where are you now who sailed away
to battle with the ocean sway
and face a certain bleak defeat,
whose eyes my own shall no more meet?

Reviews

Written by lovelysarah1984 (81 comments posted) 17th June 2008
I'm not quite sure I know exactly what this was about however the use of language is beautiful and it has a nice neat flow to it. I really enjoyed this Katie-John, and hope to see some more! 
 
Sarahxxx (I am just Sarah, I have no alias, lol).

Written by Brett (782 comments posted) 17th June 2008
Like this, Tolstoy! I think the first stanza one of the strongest things you have written.  
Your attention to metre is evident and therefor improves your work, "whose eyes my own shall no more meet?" is a great line also. 
Enjoyed this. 
Cheers

Written by mia_ms_kim (1017 comments posted) 17th June 2008
The first stanza was beautiful. The last two lines of the second stanza was poignant, I love the Time/time- sinking sun imagery. It seems timeless.  
 
Lovely. 
 
Mia 8)

Written by Veronica_Milvus (626 comments posted) 17th June 2008
Helen of Troy, with the "thousand ships"? 
 
Nice one, Tolstoy! Or should it be Homer?

Written by Phil (6713 comments posted) 17th June 2008
Yep, told you you could do this sort of thing. Metre is important - often - but you've still got to put at across - and you can. 
 
Liked it. Quite a lot in fact. 
 
Phil
Made my Day!
Written by Katanga (1217 comments posted) 17th June 2008
You've done just that Phil . . . 
 
And the dark night to come - beware! 
 
Thanks is not enough . . . 
 
Cheers! 
 
KYJ 
 
X
Okay V.!
Written by Katanga (1217 comments posted) 17th June 2008
I'll buy you a pint . . . 
 
But no . . . 
 
The Yeats allusion is in the third line of the second stanza: 
 
'that hurry Time and times undone'. 
 
Yeats, in 'The Song of Wandering Aengus' wrote, in the last stanza: 
 
'Though I am old with wandering 
Through hollow lands and hilly lands 
I will find out where she has gone 
And kiss her lips and take her hands 
And walk among long dappled grass 
And pluck till Time and times are done 
The silver apples of the moon 
The golden apples of the sun.' 
 
I'm afraid that's me all over! 
 
Chers! 
 
John X

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