The Friendly Mirror

In despair she wailed “I’m a FAT cow!’
‘How I hate my wrinkly elbows; my hideous monobrow!’,
If only my ankles were five millimetres thicker,
Why my hubby’d get into bed five times quicker!”
Staring at the mirror with disgust and dismay,
She wished for a spell that would take the ugly curse away,
Tears rolling down her cheeks, she startled at the sound,
Of a polite sort of cough, and though she looked all around,
There was no one else to be seen, not a soul ‘cept for the cat,
Who was asleep in the wardrobe on her best funeral hat,
And then came a muffled voice ‘Oh darling exquisite Cilla,
This is the voice of your friendly bedroom mirror,
Throughout the years of abuse I have uttered not a letter,
But now I’m speaking up to tell you, that you deserve far much better.
At first I thought you were accusing me of a scrawny neck,
But then I realised you meant yourself and oh what the Heck!
Are you doing, delightful woman, insulting yourself so,
You have the body of a goddess, didn’t you know?
The gorgeous curve of your cheeks, plus their delicate rosy sheen,
Gives you beauty so splendid as to rival a Queen’s,
If I didn’t know better I’d say the sun was in your fiery hair,
Setting hearts ablaze, it’s not the frizzy mess you declare.
And your bottom, my dear is decidedly top class,
You really are a piece of very fine a-hem!
…Now not many can say they have ankles as slim as yours,
And your teeth are beautiful, stop calling yourself Jaws.
I know you hate your nose; it’s something you detest,
But out of the many I have seen, yours is definitely the best.
Yes, your hips are on the large side, but so is your heart,
And darling that is your most stunning part”
“Oh Mirror!”, cried Cilla, “ I can’t even begin
To describe how much happier I feel in my own skin”
And away she skipped with pleasant thoughts in her head,
As her husband heaved a sigh of relief from under the bed.