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Poetry
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Is heaven Overrated?
By no1butClo
15 December 2005
love, of all descriptions

Is heaven Overrated?

Do the schools of angels leave

too much to the imagination?

For the pearls are falling from

their settings in the gates,

and I wonder if clouds are turning grey?


Is heaven dis-

intergrating, 'cause no-one wants it anymore?


But we have a haven here

in the flesh of one another

and there we cling, for

bruises of

love's grip

never fade

from mortal


skin.

Reviews
Wow
Written by shadowplay (41 comments posted) 16th December 2005
Ah, Chloe my love... I can't wait until Monday. Let me know the details. 
 
Now- this poem. I had to read it about six times, it's so subtle in its presentation. I really can't fault anything you've written except 'for' on line 2 sounds like it should be 'when'. 
 
You're really saying quite succinctly what I'm always trying to say, but then, you've always had that gift and i shouldn't complain. 
 
The thing that really, really bugs me is your capitalisation! Why must you do it so randomly, why must you infuriate me and make me laugh at the same time?  
 
I can guarantee you that more people will read your work if you were to take care and make sure all the English is correct. I know I stop in mid-read if someone has made a horrendous mistake because I lose all faith in them telling me something. 
 
I love the way you've split up disingtergrating and the last few lines and their position. You've said a lot more in small devices like than that in what you're actually saying. I think this is a really high point from what I've read of your work. Excellent. 
 
Jon 
 
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