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Poetry
On Cutlass beach.
By backstreetdreamer
19 June 2008




Sweeping time under the carpet
Is a time consuming chore,
Like spring cleaning
My consciousness
Upon a shingle shore,
Or picking up the seconds
Strewn along the cutlass beach,
Where the moments linger sadly
Like a daydream out of reach.


Spending hours of contemplation
Where the forest meets the field,
Where the larks rise
From the meadow
Just before the day is sealed,
Can be such an exaltation
In the sheltered heights of time,
As elusive words come slowly
And create another rhyme.


Casting petals to the river
Throwing coins into the crowd,
Just two softly borne illusions
That the seasons have allowed,
In the nest of all creation
Where the eggs of time are hatched,
Moments flutter with emotion
Just before they are dispatched.


Then they twine with every minute
And the minutes change to hours,
As the course of life is flowing
Through those changeless hanging bowers,
Then the hours cast their garment
At the ending of each day,
Like a tired golden manuscript
With nothing more to say…

Reviews

Written by Josie (2785 comments posted) 19th June 2008
It is wonderful how, like a tapestry , you have woven time in and out of the world of nature. I like this very much indeed. In fact, it is a shame that more people don't find time to quietly observe the world of nature. I like the ending of your poem "Like a tired golden manuscript with nothing more to say." One crit however is that the metre needs some attention. You can actually see where it goes out of shape with the shortness of the lines compared to the ones above. Never mind, it will get better with practise. This is what we come here to do - practise. Well done. A very nice poem.

Written by lovelysarah1984 (81 comments posted) 19th June 2008
Very good. I love 'moments flutter with emotion' however I agree with Josie that 'like a tired golden manuscript' needs some attention, which is a shame becasue it's a lovely line! 
 
A fantastic read! 
 
Sarahxxx

Written by mia_ms_kim (1019 comments posted) 20th June 2008
I loved this gentle piece as the poet muses about the act of contemplation, then gently moves into contemplation about time. There is this sense of gentle undulating wave through the piece, carrying the poet through. 
 
The lines that particularly struck me are: 
 
"Or picking up the seconds 
Strewn along the cutlass beach," 
 
"In the nest of all creation 
Where the eggs of time are hatched," 
 
"Then the hours cast their garment 
At the ending of each day, 
Like a tired golden manuscript 
With nothing more to say…" 
 
I think they particularly depict a sense of timelessness, an unending time, and a sense of eternity the poet seems to touch, even enter for a time. 
 
Beautiful. 
 
Mia ;)

Written by Veronica_Milvus (637 comments posted) 20th June 2008
The golden manuscript may be, a Book of Hours, perhaps in this context. 
 
I liked this, especially the first stanza, but all these poems about the passing of time are so melancholy!

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