Verses one and two - I am still wrestling with a third but it will come to me. Thank you Fellpony for your previous help and any more comments will be very welcome.
Dug deep into the damp and dirty soil,
My roots they twist and turn and loop and coil.
They are what keep me standing proud and tall,
Our roots, they are the making of us all.
From where I stand I have seen such great things,
I have been witness to the reign of kings.
From through my leaves I tensely watched the wars,
Seen new things done that made the future yours.
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Written by Brett (1113 comments posted) 19th June 2008 |
A great improvement, Sarah, and very enjoyable.
I love the 2nd line of the 1st stanza (must be the alliteration of 'twist and turn').
But, as in the original, it is that 2nd stanza that does it for me.
Good stuff.
Cheers |
Written by Robru (279 comments posted) 20th June 2008 |
As Brett said, its a very enjoyable read, one that even I can relate to.
Cheers and best wishes
Bob |
Written by mia_ms_kim (1057 comments posted) 20th June 2008 |
I liked the personification of the tree. I especially like the imagery of the roots, remind me of the twists and turns that makes up our tangled genetic history, making us who we are.
Mia  |
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