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Poetry
Rain
By Robru
20 June 2008

Don't you just love it when the rain falls on dry ground.


          Mornings cold and frosty
          Now that winter has arrived.
          It'll be my birthday soon,
          Another year survived.

          Right now the rain is falling,
          Soft and gentle soaking rain
          Falls like leaves upon a pathway,
          Form together
          Puddles drain.

          Dry crisp grass from summer
          Has new green underneath
          Soaking,wetting rain brings
          New life beyond belief.

          The garden's almost empty now
          Much bare ground can be seen
          Getting ready for the planting
          Pretty things with flowers
          To welcome in the spring.



Reviews

Written by PinothyJ (6 comments posted) 23rd June 2008
A nice piece. I think your title is just too plain tbh. Your title is half of your poem - leaving it as something as ordinary as 'Rain' really set the reader up to think the rest of the poem is going to be the same. 
 
Try to avoid words like got and get. These words are very rarely pleasing to the ear and should only ever be used if you really, really, really stuck for a word to fit. 
 
I'm not a huge fan of the ending on this one. I find the last two line somewhat awkward, I think better alternatives could have been used. 
 
 
I hope that helps…

Written by Robru (203 comments posted) 23rd June 2008
It does help quite a bit. The last two lines are awkward. I must take time to read through properly before putting poems on site. I thank you for pointing out the flaws in this piece.  
 
Cheers. 
 
Bob

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