(Zimbo is at the table studying very hard. His roommate Smirky walks and stands in the door way very sad).

Smirky: I'm dropping out.

Zimbo: What?

Smirky: College is hard; I don't want to do it anymore.

Zimbo: You say this every finals week.

Smirky: Yeah I know (Takes giant steps)...it's just I thought things would get easier. I can barely walk in this shoes! (He sits down). Hey Mark.

Zimbo: What did you call me?

Smirky: Mar...oh sorry I mean Zimbo.

Zimbo: Geez Smirky you're starting to sound like a freshman.

Smirky: I feel like a freshman....I thinking about dropping out.

Zimbo: You can't drop out of I Pie U, this is the most respected clown college in the state....no circus will touch you if they found out.

Smirky: Maybe I don't want to be a clown anymore?

Zimbo: What are you talking about?

Smirky:  Maybe I should drop out of this clown college and I don't go to a state school.

Zimbo: What's the difference...(they both laugh).

Smirky: See you're funny.

Zimbo: You're funny too.

Smirky: Not....could you please wipe that smile off your face?

Zimbo: Oh sorry (Zimbo wipes the make up smile off his face) is this better.

Smirky: Yeah, thanks....(Stands up and walks back and fourth. Zimbo is coughing trying to get his attention)...What? (Zimbo points down) Oh god, is that a banana peel?

Zimbo: Yeah.

Smirky: How did I miss that?

Zimbo: Well, it's a small banana peel. It's really more of a plantain.

Smirky: I don't even know what a plantain is.

Zimbo: Man calm down you're just stressing. Hey did you go to Jumbo's party last night...

Smirky: No.

Zimbo: Oh...well...it was lame he only had like three ponies there and no elephants.

Smirky: It was awesome wasn't it?

Zimbo: Yeah...you should have come there was only like 15 of us we could have fit you in the car.

Smirky: I was studying.

Zimbo: Well I was studying too...but I was studying a broad (They both laugh, high five, and honk their noses.)

Smirky: Who was the girl?

Zimbo: (Very proudly) Twinkling Tina.

Smirky: No way! Miss big top herself.

Zimbo: That's right and let me tell you...if you think it's easy to get my pants to fall down...

Smirky: You dog.

Zimbo: Ah come, on how are things going with your girlfriend? I hear she's a magician in the bedroom.

Smirky: No she's just a magician. (Pause). She's a student at Merlin's Teaching Institute.

Zimbo: Well, I hear those MTI girls have fast hands.

Smirky: Well she does do this one trick where she makes my pants disappear. (They both go "Hey, Hey") No I'm serious though it's amazing...

Zimbo: Oh so its' really a trick...

Smirky: Yeah.

Zimbo: So you're getting...

Smirky: Nothing. Yeah well...(moves in closer)...can I tell you something and just keep it between you and me.

Zimbo: Of course buddy.

Smirky: She's...She's better at making balloon animals than me.

Zimbo: No...way.

Smirky: Yes way, I mean how am I suppose to feel...it's so emasculating. She wants to make out in her room but in the corner there is a life size octopus.

Zimbo: She can make Octopi.

Smirky: It's amazing. Sometimes I think everybody just making fun of me.

Zimbo: (Moves over and puts hand on his shoulder supportively) That's suppose to happen.

Smirky: No, I mean I don't think anybody likes me. (Zimbo shys away as if he is keeping a secret) What...What is it?

Zimbo: Listen, I'm not supposed to tell you.

Smirky: What?

Zimbo: It's not that they don't like you; it's just that some students think...you're to good looking to be a clown.

Smirky: No don't say that.

Zimbo: I'm sorry, it's true you're very attractive.

Smirky: Well, I'm sorry that I don't have buck teeth, or big nose, or I'm not incredibly fat like all the cool kids.

Zimbo: Listen...

Smirky: You don't think that I don't look in those clown magazines and want to look like those models you always see, with their crazy hair and hunchbacks. What should I do eat the pies instead of throwing them?

Zimbo: I know how you feel.

Smirky: No, you don't your face is hilarious.

Zimbo: It's not...

Smirky: Yes it is when I first saw you I couldn't stop myself from laughing. It's much better than this stupid handsome one I have.

Zimbo: Listen (he moves to support and slips on the banana peel. Smirky starts laughing then quickly starts crying).

Smirky: Why can't I do that?

Zimbo: Here have a tissue (he takes for every to pull one out of his pocket)

Smirky: God a crying clown, what is this? An opera house.

Zimbo: (Forces a laugh) That was funny.

Smirky: (Looking up with hope in his eyes) Really?

Zimbo: Yeah. (Runs over to desk and grabs a textbook. He starts reading questions). Hey okay what kind of pie do you use on a stuffy English gentlemen.

Smirky: (Picks up on what he is doing and starts to answer) Key lime.

Zimbo:  Right, what about a fat lady?

Smirky: French silk.

Zimbo: A cowboy?

Smirky: Coconut cream.

Zimbo: Yes, what's the proper technique for slipping on a banana peel?

Smirky: Fall with your back not with your legs.

Zimbo: And what is the best kind of flower is best for squirting water out of?

Smirky: A sunflower because it's a ironic....

Both: "Sunny flower, Rainy day"

Zimbo: See you know this stuff.

Smirky: Yeah, I work hard. I know it up here (points to head) but I don't know it in here (pounds where his heart is). I mean what am I doing? I'm not funny, I'm not flexible, I'm naturally very tan. When I told my family I wanted to be a clown they were so...excited. Finally, one of their kids would not grow up to be a lawyer. But where is the future in it?

Zimbo: The world will always need clowns.

Smirky: Will it? Circuses are dying, children are renting cartoon characters for parties, every kid in the world is wearing pants as baggy as ours, we're not unique were not wanted. I mean now, people find clowns frightening. The find us freakish.

Zimbo: Not everybody is afraid of clowns.

Smirky: Enough people are. I just want to make people laugh; I just don't want them to not want me. I don't want them to hate me. I mean...So many people are afraid of clowns they don't realize that some clowns are afraid of people.

Zimbo: Buddy that is a bunch of (honks noise).

Smirky: What?

Zimbo: You don't become a clown for other people, you become a clown for yourself. This is your problem. You shouldn't care about what your family, other students, what the world thinks. You just be the best clown you can be.

Smirky: Yeah.

Zimbo: Yeah. You have heart you just need practice and this is the best place to get it.

Smirky: Good old I Pie U

Zimbo: (Trying to cheer Smirky up starts the school fight song)

            Let's give three cheers for I Pie U.

            To our fool school we'll be true.

Smirky: (Slowly at first but soon starts to play along)

              So drop your pants and honk your nose

              Throughout the years our spirit grows.

Both: (They get up and start to dance and march)

          We don't care if we lose or win

          We face it with a great big green.

Zimbo: We juggle, we tumble, we do a goofy jig.

Smirky: Our umbrellas are very small are shoes are very big

Both: At good old I Pie U.

          you'll make a friend or two.

          At good old I Pie U.

          You'll never be blue.

Smirky: Fight, Fight, Fight.(Smirky runs to do a flip or something but then he slips and falls on the banana peel. on the floor he raises his arm in triumph) Yes!