Stockport Times, Love 2 Love column - Friday, June 13

ALWAYS AND FOREVER

Batchelor, M, 45, 6’1”, n/s, non-drinker, into music, walking, archeology, reading, computing, Seeks soulmate with GSOH -40-58. Cheshire Box 342.

Man: I am so lonely these days. If only I had somebody to talk to, and spend time with. Sort of a last resort to try the personal columns. I put down that I was 45, which is actually older than I am, but I am hoping for perhaps a mature woman - someone without children to tie her down - maybe a rich divorcee.

Stockport Times, Love 2 Love column - Friday, June 13

GOT AWARENESS?

South Mancs lady, 50, medium build, intelligent, travelled, likes current affairs, writing, country and seaside. Seeks tall, intelligent gentleman with GSOH Box 432.

Woman: This is a very daring thing I am doing, but why not have a bit of fun while I can? So I cheated a bit on my age. Everyone says I look 10 years younger. Nobody ever needs to find out. I had a good look through the paper, found my advert and checked out the men. There was only one possible. Always and Forever sounds a bit intense. He says he is 45 so I take that to mean probably that he is 50 or not far off. Just the right sort of age for me. Old enough to not want to be out clubbing every night. I just might try a note to him and see what happens.

Stockport Times, Love 2 Love column, Box 342.

Dear Always and Forever,

You sound just the sort of man I would love to meet. Perhaps you could tell me a bit more about yourself. I don’t want to get involved with someone without giving it a great deal of thought, so perhaps we could just correspond for awhile to see if we are compatible. Let me know what you think.

Got Awareness, Box 432.

Man: I looks like I have had a response to my ad! Wow, that was good. I saw someone in the paper last night that just might suit - but was a bit put off by how brainy she sounds. But it’s worth looking into it. (He opens the mail.) What? It looks like this is from that very same person who I singled out from last night’s paper. How about that for karma! She picks me and I had just decided to pick her. It’s worth a letter or two.

Stockport Times, Love 2 Love column Box 432

Dear Got Awareness,

I was really pleased to get your note, and I must tell you that I had already decided to write to you based on your advert before I opened it. Isn’t that something? I know what you mean about wanting to take things slowly, but if we are really suited, why waste time? Why don’t you meet me at Piccadilly Gardens, by the big wheel, next Saturday at 7. I’ll be wearing a red shirt and carrying a black briefcase. We can go to the pub on the corner for a drink (I’ll have tea.). Let me know what you think.

Rolf

Woman: Here’s a letter from that Stockport Personal Column. I’m almost scared to open it. (Opens and reads it.) I’m beginning to regret I ever started on this. Rolf, what sort of name is that? He sounds like a dog - not that I expect it is his real name. Oh, he is in such a hurry. I wanted to spend more time sussing the situation out before I committed myself. He probably thinks I am a lot younger and slimmer than I am. So if he’s 10 years older, and I pretend to be 10 years younger, we should be about right. I guess.

Stockport Times, Love 2 Love column, Box 342

Dear Rolf,

You seem in such a hurry, but as it happens, I need to be in Manchester on Saturday anyway, so I will agree. I will be wearing a green outfit, and will have a red poppy pin on my lapel. If I have had a good day, my arms will be full of carrier bags.

Sadie

Saturday night, June 21, 7 p.m. Piccadilly Gardens.

Man: Maybe this is a mistake. I look such an idiot standing around in this red shirt which I had to buy specially. What ever possessed me to say that without looking through my wardrobe? And there are loads of women wearing green. What does an outfit mean? I look at every woman that comes near - and have had a few weird looks back, I must say. I’ll give it another half an hour, and then go home. There’s a woman over there that is the spitting image of my mother except she isn’t wearing glasses. I’ll give it another half an hour and if nobody shows I may as well go home.

Woman: I have felt a real fool, looking all over for an older man in a red shirt. All I can see is that gangly boy over there in burgundy. He looks young enough to be my son but I can’t really see very clearly without my glasses. I will wait another half hour, but then I am going home.

Piccadilly Station - 8 p.m.

Man: Hi, Mum. I didn’t know you were going into town today. You seem to have been successful at the shops. I expect it was all on sale, so you can tell dad how much money you “saved” as usual.

Woman: Hi John. Don’t you look smart in that shirt! I didn’t know you even had one like that. What have you been doing in town?

Man: Oh, just hanging around, you know. I got a few new DVD’s. You might like this one (he takes it out of his bag and shows it to her).

Woman: Sorry, not my sort of thing at all. Have you got any plans for tomorrow’s lunch? Why don’t you come over for a good home cooked meal.

Man: Yeah, well, why not. Doesn’t look like there’s anything else much going on this weekend.