|
By nikeshmurali
|
|
22 June 2008 |
It is raining today
and my heart remembers you.
You are the rain
that falls on me
And like desire
I will consume you.
The river bed
with its polished pebbles
And the green
arms that reached for your naked form;
My love is a
river
And you are its
fluid soul.
|
Written by mia_ms_kim (1017 comments posted) 23rd June 2008 | I thought there were imageries in this piece that promised beauty, but somehow fell short of delivering it. I'm no poet, but I wondered if it was because some lines read like prose with a little too many 'to be' words. For a piece like this I'd have preferred more verbs. But I liked 'the rain that falls on me' and 'fluid soul.'
Ignore my ramblings. I'm poetry ignoramus. I just like reading them.
Mia  |
Only registered users can rate and write comments.
Please login or register. Powered by AkoComment 2.0! |
Previous item
