I wrote this recently while sitting by my elderly mother's bedside in a nursing home, after surgical repair of a broken leg, but she has not done well, continuing to deteriorate mentally and physically.
Lying still, your mouth gapes open
I wonder if you breathe your last
Your hair a white cloud
Your skin softened from disuse
No washing, digging, planting
Gardens or children
Anymore.
Where do your dreams take you?
At times you wake in your childhood home
Rolling wheat fields, boundless days of freedom.
Other naps take you to your teaching days
Grammar and drama, speech and essays.
Yesterday you were a young mother again
Juggling babies, farm and your wistful dreams.
Today you looked about
your empty nest
Disguised as hospital bed
Children grown, flown
You try to control through worry
Travel safely
Get a good night's sleep
Take time to eat
Call me when you get there
I dress you as you dressed me
I clean you as you cleaned me
I love you as you loved me
You try my patience as I tried yours
I wonder if I have the strength to
Manage mothering
Forever.
When I tell you the truth
Your brow furrows as it used to do
When I disappointed you
This cannot be
A bed in a room in a sterile place
Waiting for death
Waiting for heaven
Waiting
And I tell you
Travel safely
Eat, please eat
Sleep well
Call me when you get there.
|
Incredible!
Written by Katanga (1129 comments posted) 22nd June 2008 |
I'll put my heart on my sleeve and say,
"This poem is stupendous!"
I am very sorry that it's so personal, but I guess that's what sometimes drives us to pick ip the pen at all ( nowadays 'touch the keyboard).
I am pretty much dumbfounded!
Words of praise desert me . . . .
I think this is in another league . . . of its own . . .
(I hate football, by the way)
Astonished and SO impressed . . . .
I hope you and I shall have more banter?!
John XXX |
Call me!
Written by Katanga (1129 comments posted) 22nd June 2008 |
Sorry, just meant to add that your last line has me in tears . . . literally, can rdly see myb keybard - truly!
"Call me when you get there."
Lost for comment . . . . Respect!
John XXX |
CALL ME WHEN YOU GET THERE
Written by bobc (49 comments posted) 22nd June 2008 |
*GULP* |
Written by Veronica_Milvus (591 comments posted) 23rd June 2008 |
"empty nest / disguised as hospital bed" was a very strong image.
any of us who have been there know exactly what you mean. Very well put, and moving.
V |
very powerful
Written by fellpony (1569 comments posted) 23rd June 2008 |
| and simple, as the best poetry often is. |
Written by Phil (6628 comments posted) 23rd June 2008 |
As the last comment. There are occasions when clever twists of language should be ditched. You did that here and it was to good affect. There is power in this, particularly the last section.
I'm touched.
Sincerely hope things go as well as can be expected.
Phil |
Written by Brett (720 comments posted) 23rd June 2008 |
As the previous reviewers have noted - touching in its sincerity and simplicity, particularly that closing line.
Cheers and all the best. |
Yes! Yes! Yes!
Written by Katanga (1129 comments posted) 23rd June 2008 |
Maybe a redundant review?
But I am so moved that others agree that this is really good . . .
John X |
Written by briarcroft (37 comments posted) 23rd June 2008 |
thank you all for your kind encouragement.
I'm honored this poem has been selected for publication on a Christian writers' website. It amazes me when a 15 minute emotional scribble on a notepad ends up more effective than something I work on for much much longer. I need to listen to the "inner voice" more, I guess.
Emily |
Only registered users can rate and write comments.
Please login or register.
Previous item
