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Written by fellpony (1821 comments posted) 24th June 2008 |
| Neatly expressed; I liked "scientist priests". A religious poem without being at all preachy. |
Thanks
Written by bobc (51 comments posted) 24th June 2008 |
| I can not take credit for "scientist priests" fellpony. It's from an old Moody Blues song. I guess I'm spritual, not religous. |
Written by Veronica_Milvus (794 comments posted) 24th June 2008 |
The light that falls into my eyes
Died in ages past.
were my favourite line here. And the last line - the gap between science and religion. But they can both make the mind boggle at the vastness of the universe!
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Wonderful!
Written by Katanga (1698 comments posted) 24th June 2008 |
I've read this several times, and it just gets better and better with every reading . . .
i REALLY rate this!
'Measured flight does not tell
Who has made the stars."
Superb! Not Dawkins nor no other pompous know-all could detract from the power of that!
Sincerely loved . . .
John X (aka Katanga, Katie, Tolstoy, Whatever . . .
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And again!
Written by Katanga (1698 comments posted) 24th June 2008 |
I've just been reading it aloud to myself ( Hmmmm!) and it has perfect meter, unlike so much that is offered up here for review.
The whole thing about 'metre' is a big thing on GW!
Personally, I think either you've 'got it' or you haven't.
Never mind the Stephen Fry book etc, althought he can help those who are 'half-way-there'.
And you certainly HAVE! (got rhythm I mean)
Mustn't get too carried away, but I really like this . . .
Lokking forward to more!
Cheers!
John X |
Oh please . . .
Written by Katanga (1698 comments posted) 24th June 2008 |
. . . correct the typo - 'expain' to 'explain'!
A weird variation suggestion . . .
"Your light that died in ages past
Falls into my eyes"
But then that would roger your excellent rhyme pattern!
Hmmm? Speed of light - time - love -
Whooooer!
Cheers! Hoping for more . . . seriously!
John X |
Thanks
Written by bobc (51 comments posted) 24th June 2008 |
Thanks to all for the positive feedback.
Kat...thanks for the heads-up on the typo...fixed. |
Written by mia_ms_kim (1057 comments posted) 24th June 2008 |
This could even be a older children's poem, I think, because of the simplicity and the rhythm. It is simple but deep, I think. I really like this one because of the beat (English is my 2nd language, and only now I'm beginning to pick up these things) and the scientific / spritual theme that is left unanswered. I guess the implication is, don't be a know-it-all? (scientist priest?)
It is mind-boggling to think the stars that sparkle in the sky each night, may not even be there now - they could have exploded, died or whatever many light-years ago!
That puts us in our place, I think. Don't presume what we 'see' is always reality, the data we are able to receive and process even with all our technology, are still negligible, compared to the vast amount that go unnoticed.
Really enjoyed.
Mia  |
Written by Fledermaus (3615 comments posted) 27th June 2008 |
I too found the "scientist priests" a brilliant phrase, and even though you might have borrowed it, you did elaborate on it.
Funnily I usually find the stars even more impressive considering what these scientists tell about them. |
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